Shelter From The Storm
by Georgy-Girl
Summary: AU- What will Zoe do when the one person she feels safe enough with to confide in is the one person she can't bring herself to talk to?
1. Wrong side of the bed

**NOTE: My other stories were ones I had saved on my computer, but this is a completely new one written today. Hope you enjoy, and I'll reply to any questions you have by PM :)**

 **...**

Zoe gave a groan when the alarm suddenly blared into the quiet room. Leaning over Max, she banged the top of the alarm to turn it off and then rested her head on his chest, grumbling against him, "I don't want to go in, can we stay here all day?"

"Alright with me." Max mumbled into her hair, his hand rising up her back to pull her a little closer.

They lay there in silence for another 5 minutes until the alarm on Zoe's phone went off. Grabbing it blindly from the nightstand, she launched it across the room where it hit the wall with a bang.

"One of those mornings, is it? Coffee?" Max asked, slipping from the bed.

Resting her head on Max's pillow as she pulled the bed sheets tighter around her body, Zoe gave a nod. She heard Max retrieve her phone and turn the alarm off before there was the thud of his footsteps moving down to the kitchen.

With a sigh, Zoe finally pushed off the all the blankets and climbed from the bed. From the room below, Max heard her banging about in the bathroom for a short while before the shower turned on.

….

"Zoe, I-"

"I've just walked in, Rita! Give me a chance!"

As Zoe stormed off, Rita looked to Max who gave a shrug. "She woke up that way, don't blame me."

…

"Is everything ok?' Tess asked Zoe softly as the doctor stormed into the staffroom and ripped open her locker.

"Fine." Was Zoe's terse reply.

"Fine as in okay, or fine as in-"

"Fine as in mind your own bloody business." Zoe slammed her locker and stomped from the room, passing Max as he entered.

"What's happened?" Tess asked him with a frown.

"No idea." Max pulled the key from Zoe's locker and put it in his pocket before unlocking his own. "She woke up like that, and I'm not game to ask. Are you?"

"Not a chance."

…

The next time Zoe and Max saw one another was when he was taking a patient up to a ward and she stepped into the lift. She gave a distracted smile and then turned her back to him, waiting impatiently for the doors to close.

"Zo!"

At the sound of a voice Max didn't recognise, Zoe stepped back and banged into Max, her fingers clutching the bottom of his shirt as a tall man held the door and walked in.

"Fancy seeing you here." The man in the suit smiled as the doors to the lift banged shut and it began moving up to the next floor.

When Max felt Zoe's hand tighten on his top, he rested a hand to her hip. "Ok?" He asked softly in her ear, glancing again at the man.

Zoe gave a nod, releasing Max and giving him a half smile as he pushed the patient from the lift onto the second floor.

When the doors finally shut again, Nick turned back to Zoe. "Do I want to know why that porter was glaring at me?"

…


	2. Take a sad song, and make it better

When Zoe reached her office she rifled through her draw for a cigarette, but could only find patches. Frustrated, she searched for her locker key but came up empty handed once more. Even more on edge now, Zoe made her way to Max's office and was unsure if she was relieved or annoyed to find it empty. Still, his pack of cigarettes lay on the table, so she grabbed them and rushed outside, trying to find a spot where no one would look for her.

…

As Connie gave a short speech, Nick's eyes studied the people who stood around, some familiar but mostly new faces. Finally his eyes rested on Zoe, who at that moment was taking her anger out on a pen that had run out of ink. She was scribbling furiously on a blank page and looking as though she was about to throw something. Same old Zoe. Reaching into his pocket, he felt the familiar cool touch of the pen she'd given him many years ago. He was about to step forward and offer it to her when a man, that porter again, seemed to appear out of nowhere and take the pen from Zoe's hand, replacing it with another. To Nick's further irritation, the boy whispered something in Zoe's ear and he saw the ghost of a smile pass Zoe's lips.

…

"Talking to me yet?"

Zoe shut her eyes as a voice spoke from behind her as she waited in the queue for coffee. Thankful it meant she didn't have to face, him Zoe just lowered her head. "Sorry about earlier. One of those days."

"I remember Zoe Hanna days very well. So does my favourite suit that you spilt boiling coffee down more than once." Nick tried to lighten the mood, but instead found it made Zoe even more agitated.

"I need to go. I forgot I had to do something for Connie." Zoe stepped from the line, rushing away before Nick could speak again.

…

Tess slowed her step when she entered the staffroom and saw Zoe furiously shovelling instant coffee into a mug.

"You didn't tell me he was coming back." The nurse finally offered, far enough away to avoid coffee splatters if Zoe banged the cup down.

"I didn't know." Was all Zoe said.

After much hesitation, Tess stepped forward. "Zoe…"

"I don't want to talk about it! All I want is to have a cup of coffee in silence, but obviously that's too much to ask!" Banging her cup down so hard that some splashed onto Tess' uniform, Zoe marched from the room.

…

"Are they my cigarettes?" Max asked as he stepped out onto the roof.

"How did you find me?" Zoe let the smoke billow from her mouth as Max sat next to her, their backs pressed against the outer wall of the hospital.

"Was I supposed to be looking for you?" Max picked up the cigarette pack and tipped one out.

"I thought maybe Tess had spoken to you."

"Nope. Hardly anyone has spoken to me all day. I think they're worried your bad mood is catching." He lit a cigarette and drew on it deeply.

"I'm not in a bad mood."

"Mmm-hmm. Pull the other one, it plays-"

"Hey Jude in Spanish? You know, I still haven't heard you do that, I'm beginning to think you can't."

"I would sing it now, but by the end of it, you're bound to want to jump me, and I've only got a 10 minute break."

Another ghost of a smile passed Zoe's lips and she rested her head on Max's shoulder, shutting her eyes against the day she wished had never begun.

After a short pause in which Max wrapped an arm around her shoulder and dropped a kiss to her head, he started singing.

 _And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain_

 _Don't carry the world upon your shoulders_

 _For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool_

 _By making his world a little colder_

"That wasn't Spanish." Zoe supplied, the lump that had been present in her throat all day growing larger until she was sure it was about to burst.

"Because I was being, like, poignant, and you don't know Spanish so my genius would have been lost."

Zoe gave a laugh, then a sob, and soon found her face buried in Max's shirt with his arms wrapped tightly around her.


	3. Mark

"You can't avoid me forever, you know." An hour later, Nick leant in the doorway of Zoe's office.

"I can try." Zoe picked up her phone and stood, but Nick shut the door and blocked her exit. With a sigh, she sat down once more. "…Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"It was a last minute thing, and besides, I remembered how much you hate surprises and I wanted to annoy you like old times."

The slight smile that pulled at Zoe's lips pleased Nick, and he watched with his own smile as she rested back in her chair, indicating that he could sit in the other one.

"Well, it worked. What are you doing here?"

"I'm the new Elliot Hope, at least until he gets back from some mission he's decided to go on." Nick sat down and began picking up random objects from Zoe's desk.

Leaning across, she pulled the paperweight from Nick's hands and sat it firmly back down on top of her paperwork. "How long for? And why you?"

"Just a couple of months at this stage. And in case you've forgotten, I'm a brilliant doctor."

Zoe sighed and studied his face for a moment before asking, "What do you want from me?"

"A drink would be a start. That pub across the road when you've finished, my treat."

Under the desk, Zoe toyed with her wedding ring. "Will you stop chasing me around the hospital if I say yes?"

"Scouts honour."

…

When Nick exited the hospital that afternoon, he spied the man from the lift having a cigarette whilst looking down at his phone.

"Excuse me-" Nick looked down at the man's name badge. "Excuse me, Max Walker. I need help moving some files from my car to my office."

Stubbing out his cigarette, Max shrugged. "And?"

Sighing, Nick folded his arms. "And you're a porter, so I want you to help me."

"Not in my job description, mate." Max stood to his full height and was pleased to see he was an inch or two taller than the man in front of him.

"Pardon? You'll do ask I ask if you want to keep your job."

"Who says I want to?" Max folded his own arms and looked Nick directly in the eye.

Before the consultant could reply, Rita hovered in the doorway. "Max! I need your help!"

"Duty calls." Max offered Nick before approaching the ED entrance.

"Who's that? Quite good looking." Rita kept her eyes on Nick as he stalked towards his car.

"No idea," Max sighed, and then glanced at Rita's coffee splashed uniform. "Zoe?"

"The one and only."

…

For several minutes after Nick left, Zoe stared absently at her desk, thinking as she tried not to think.

"Zoe, I-" Dylan hovered in the doorway, his eyebrows rising as she interrupted him to yell.

"What the hell does everyone think I mean by an admin day? Do they think it means I just sit here all day doing nothing so they can pop in whenever they want for a chat? I have WORK I need to catch up on and I can't do that if I keep getting interrupted!"

"Finished? Right, well, I just wanted to say that my shift is over and I'm going home."

Sighing, Zoe rubbed her forehead and then put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry."

Dylan glanced around, hoping to see Tess or Rita, or even that man she was married to, but when he saw no one he gave a sigh and entered the room. "…Is everything ok?"

"I don't know." Zoe almost screamed the words in frustration, causing Dylan to reach behind himself and shut the office door.

"…Do you want to talk about it?"

Zoe took a deep breath and then shook her head, attempting a smile. "Just having one of those days."

"…Do you want me to get Rita? Or Tess? Or Mark, though I've seen how he comforts patients and I'm not sure it works any better than me comforting them."

Zoe gave another smile, a real one this time. "Thanks, but I'll be ok. And you know it's Max."

"Is it? Are you sure?"

Zoe thought she heard a hint of teasing in her friend's voice and this made her smile again as she watched him walk towards the staffroom.

…

"Mar…umm, Max, can you see the stapler anywhere?" Zoe asked as she exited her office towards the end of the shift.

"…Did you almost call me Mark?" Max held out the stapler.

"Sorry, been talking to Dylan."

"About me?"

"Hey, he brought you up, not me. You know I never think about you when you're not around."

"That got me right in the feels. You're so good at saying romantic things."

"I know." Zoe smiled, reaching around him for the curly wurly she knew would be in his back pocket before she turned back to her office.

Max glanced to Rita and tilted his head towards Zoe, indicating she seemed to be in a better mood.

Dropping her file on the desk, Rita rushed after her. "Zoe, can I ask you a question? Who is that guy who's taken over from Mr Hope?"

"You'd have to ask him." When Zoe shut the door in Rita's face, the nurse glanced back at Max with raised eyebrows.

"I guess we tried too soon."

…

A short time later Zoe found herself alternating between watching the clock and typing then deleting messages. When it hit 5 minutes to the end of her shift, she finally sent a message.

 _Zoe: Where are you?_

 _Max: Depends on which Zoe is asking._

Zoe hesitated and nibbled her lip before sending her reply.

 _Zoe: I'm just going to the pub for a quick drink with an old colleague._

 _Max: ok._

Where he stood waiting outside x-ray, Max began to nibble his own lip as well.

 _Max: Found anything out yet, Rita?_

 _Rita: A lot. I'll meet you in the staffroom in 10._

In her office, Zoe pulled on her coat, and then picked up her phone again.

 _Zoe: Can you do me a favour?_

 _Max: Anything._

 _Zoe: When you've finished, will you come to the pub and just wait at the bar?_

Zoe waited nervously for a reply; expecting him either to ask if she was ashamed of him or give a joking reply, but she was relieved when her phone beeped and she read his response.

 _Max: I'll see you there._

 _Zoe: I love you, Max._

 _Max: Who's Max? My name is Mark. Well, this is Awkward._

Zoe gave her first proper laugh of the day, and picked up the last piece of her curly wurly, putting it in her mouth. "Idiot."


	4. Memories

Zoe entered the pub hesitantly a short time later and Nick gave her a wave. She glanced back at the hospital before approaching him where he sat in a quiet corner.

"I took the liberty of getting you your favourite drink. At least, what used to be your favourite?"

Sitting down, Zoe gave a slight smile. "I'm pretty sure a large wine is the favourite of most doctors, Nick."

…

"Rita, you've wounded me!" Max cried out almost 20 minutes later as he entered the pub along with the giggling blonde.

As it was meant to, this caught Zoe's attention, but it also caught Nick's and he gave a sigh. "That porter again. Do you know, earlier today I asked him to help me move some boxes from my car and he refused."

"Did you ask or did you tell?" Zoe glanced at Max who winked at her before turning his back to sit at the bar.

"...I suppose I told him, but I'm going to have a word with his boss, because he's got a bad attitude. I overheard him telling a patient she-"

"He's my husband."

Nick was quiet for a moment, stunned, before almost every occupant of the pub heard his exclamation. "You married a porter?!"

Zoe glanced around them at people looking, shyly tucking her hair behind one ear. "Yes."

"Well, I suppose I see why you tried to keep us separated."

"I'm not embarrassed of him, Nick."

Shifting forward in his seat, Nick put his drink of the table and focused all his attention on Zoe. "Then why haven't you told either of us about the other?"

Agitated, Zoe began tapping her finger on the wine glass she held. "Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"Fine then, if you must know, you know what I associate with you, Nick? You know the moments I remember so clearly from our relationship? When we found out I was pregnant. And I'm never going to have that with Max. So when I look at you, I just see what I can never have but desperately want with him and it hurts. I didn't tell Max about you because I didn't want to think about you, and I didn't want to tell you about him, because I knew you'd tell him what happened, just to get one up on him."

"Zoe, I-" Nick reached forward and put a hand to her knee, but the hand fell as she stood, grabbing her jacket.

"I need to go home."

"We need to talk about this, Zoe."

"Maybe we do, but not tonight."

…

After entering the pub, Rita and Max sat talking quietly, both trying not to glance at the woman they were talking about.

When Rita had finished her explanation of what she'd found out, Max frowned. "You're sure it's not just a rumour?"

Rita gave a slight shrug at Max's question. "It seems a little detailed to be a rumour, doesn't it?"

Before Max could reply, a gentle hand touched him between his shoulder blades. "Can we go home, please."

"Ah, yeah, sure. See you tomorrow, Rita." Max grabbed his jacket, rushing after Zoe as she walked quickly towards the car.

…

As first they drove towards home in silence, but Max could feel Zoe's eyes on him and finally couldn't bear it any longer. "I know what you're thinking."

Zoe's heart jolted. "Do you?"

Max noted the panic in her voice but didn't acknowledge it. "That I've had work done. But I haven't. This here face is all natural."

Zoe smiled and leant across, straining her seatbelt to kiss Max's cheek before settling back into her seat to look out the window.

Max glanced at her, then back at the road. "You know we'll have to talk about whatever is upsetting you at some point, Zoe."

"When I'm ready."

Hearing the same edge he'd heard in her voice that afternoon on the roof, Max tried to lighten the mood again. "That was your reason for not opening that pack of biscuits last week, but don't think I haven't noticed you ate them all and replaced them with a new, unopened packet."

"I did not eat them!"

"There were crumbs in our bed, Zo."

"…Maybe I ate them."

"Knew it!"


	5. So let it out and let it in

Zoe woke with a start the next morning, unaware what had woken her until she moved a little and her back protested. She'd fallen asleep half sitting and half resting her side against Max, who was sitting up with his back against the wall and his knees drawn up protectively so that one was on either side of Zoe and her legs stretched under one of his bent knees.

Rubbing her face sleepily, Zoe buried it for a moment longer in Max's neck before she began rubbing his bare chest. "Wake up. We're late."

Max grumbled, frowning for a moment before his eyes finally flickered open. "Think we'd get away with both calling in sick? I think I'm dying." His voice asked hoarsely.

A small smile pulled at Zoe's lips, for this is something she heard often from Max, and right now familiarity felt comforting. "Not a chance."

…

When they'd arrived home the night before, Zoe had refused any dinner and had disappeared to have a bath before going straight to bed, switching off the light and rolling onto her side, though she knew she wouldn't sleep.

Max had joined her a short while later, stumbling slightly as he tried to get changed in the dark before he slipped into bed beside her. Zoe thought he was asleep until his voice suddenly spoke into the darkness.

"Do you love him?"

Zoe's heart did the same lurch it had in the car, but she gave no reply, hoping he would think she was asleep.

"I can count the number of times you've told me you loved me on two hands, and 3 of those times have been since he appeared. I never used to mind, I knew you loved me and I knew you found it hard to voice that sort of thing, but now…now I wonder if it's because of him. I wonder if you're saying it more often because you're feeling guilty about something."

Zoe shut her eyes tightly, willing him to stop talking, but he didn't. "…I just want you to be happy, Zoe, and the past couple of days you haven't been. If that's because of me, or because of our relationship-"

Zoe beginning to cry softly cut Max off.

Rolling over so his front pressed to Zoe's back, Max rested a hand on her shoulder, but she was quick to grab it and pull his arm around her.

"Zoe-"

"It's not him. Or you. It's me."

"Just tell me what the matter is. Please."

Zoe heard the desperation in his voice, but could only shake her head. "I can't."

Max sighed and rested his forehead to her shoulder for a few minutes until Zoe's breathing began to steady once more. "Just tell me one thing."

Keeping her eyes clamped shut, Zoe asked, "What?"

"Do you want to leave me?"

Zoe silently cursed herself. She hadn't even considered he'd think that, but she knew if the shoe was on the other foot and an ex of his had shown up, he would have been the first to reassure her, but she'd only been thinking of herself. "No. If anything, I wish everyone else would go away so it could just be the two of us forever."

Max let out a long breath that he hadn't realised he was holding before he dropped a kiss to Zoe's shoulder. "I wish I could get out my magic wand."

Zoe let out a laugh through her tears. "Is that a euphemism?"

Max smiled and dropped a kiss to her shoulder once more, relaxing his grip and then tightening it once more as Zoe rolled over and rested her head on his chest. "Is that all you think about?"

"Will you sing me hey Jude in Spanish? With your guitar?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"Promise."

Dropping a kiss to Zoe's head, Max stood to retrieve his guitar from where it always sat by the window before joining her once more in bed.

Zoe pushed herself up, wiping away the remnants of tears from her face before laughing softly as Max pulled her closer until she was between him and the guitar and he had to reach round her to play. Resting back against him, Zoe shut her eyes as he began to sing softly in her ear.


	6. Hugging Strange Men

"Can you check this?"

Zoe was studying a patient's file late that morning when a piece of paper was pushed in front of her. With a frown, she looked down at the print out of a newspaper article. "What exactly am I looking at?"

"No idea, just picked it up from the desk."

"…And you gave it to me why?"

"I just wanted an excuse to get close enough to look down your top from behind so you can't splash me with your coffee when you realise what I'm doing."

Zoe smiled, putting the piece of paper on the desk. "I haven't splashed anyone all day, thank you."

"It's only 1 o'clock, give it time."

Zoe smiled to herself as Max walked away, She knew he was trying to keep her in a happy mood, and so far today it seemed to be working. "Perhaps you should just take a picture." She called out after him.

"You take one and send it to me." Max called back, turning to grin before disappearing through the door.

Shaking her head, Zoe looked back down at her patient's file.

…

"Thought I might find you here."

It was that afternoon when Nick found Zoe sat outside with her head down. She glanced up at him, offered a slight smile, and then looked back down at her phone where she was browsing photos of her wedding.

"So, ready to talk yet?" Nick sat next to her, taking the cigarette from her fingers to stub it out.

"…Will you stop bringing it up if I tell you?"

When Nick nodded, Zoe sighed and lit another cigarette before beginning.

"…After it all happened, they told me I couldn't have any children. That it just wasn't possible." Zoe began softly.

"I remember." Nick replied, reaching out to take Zoe's hand and was relieved when she let him.

"Well, 2 months ago I found out I was pregnant." Zoe let out a shaking breath, for this was the first time she'd told anyone.

"Isn't that good?" Nick asked gently.

"It might have been, except before I told Max, I lost the baby. I can't bring myself to tell him."

With a sigh, Nick squeezed Zoe's hand. "And then I showed up and brought with me a reminder of last time."

Zoe nodded, allowing Nick to pull her into a hug. After only a moment or two, they separated guiltily when someone cleared their throat.

"Sorry to bother you, Dr _Walker_ , but Connie is looking for you." Robyn hovered by the bench with a frown on her face.

"Thanks, Robyn. I'll…see you later." Zoe glanced at Nick before following Robyn back into the building.

…

"I saw Zoe hugging someone." Robyn pulled open the door to Max's office a short time later.

"…And?" Max raised his eyebrows.

"Well it was like a proper hug. With that guy who used to work here."

"Was she upset?" Max asked as he pulled his phone from his pocket, about to send Zoe a message.

"I don't know, but that's not the point. Haven't you heard that they used to be an item?"

"And? It's impossible to avoid your exes all the time. If I wanted to avoid mine, I'd have to leave the country."

"Fine, don't take me seriously, but when all hell breaks loose, don't come crying to me." Robyn flounced off.

 _Max: hugging strange men, I hear._

 _Zoe: blimey, Robyn's quick. I hug you, and you're strange, so perhaps hugging strange men is a hobby of mine._

 _Max: As long as no kisses are involved when you're hugging these other strange men._

 _Zoe: Well, not on my part, but you know how irresistible I am._

 _Max: You'd better send me that cleavage picture, for research purposes._

As Max grinned down at his phone, the doorway darkened once more and Max looked up to find Nick stood in front of him with arms folded.


	7. Duelling

"What do you want?" Max placed his phone on the desk but didn't stand as Nick shut the door.

"I want to talk to you about Zoe. I want to know your intentions."

Max gave a shocked laugh. "Pardon? I'm sorry, I think I'm missing something here, because from what I heard you left her heartbroken. What the hell makes you think you have the right to ask _me_ about my relationship with my own wife?!"

"Just because I left doesn't mean I don't still have feelings for her."

"What, so you're here to try and win her back? Did you come here to challenge me to a duel or something?"

Nick let out a frustrated sigh. "Zoe is clearly unhappy, she's told me the reason and I want to know why she hasn't told you and what you're going to do about it?"

"Once again, I don't think that's any of your business."

"Fine, if that's how you want to play, but I intend to do everything I can to make her happy, and if that involves taking her away from you, then so be it."

Standing, Max walked past Nick to open the door. "Where Zoe stays or goes is up to her. Lovely chatting with you, but I have work to do."

….

"What are you doing tonight after work?" Nick hovered in Zoe's office a few minutes before her shift ended.

"Going to bed, probably."

"Pub first, I'll buy you a drink."

"Do I need to remind you that I'm a married woman?"

"I'd hardly manage anything untoward, Dr Hanna. Half the hospital staff will be there, it's a Friday night, and I've invited all the old ED staff to join us."

"…One drink, and then I'm going home."

…

Zoe smiled when she entered the pub and found Nick the centre of attention, several other nurses and doctors looking up at him. "Just like old times, you bossing everyone about."

"I don't boss, I lead." Nick grinned, holding out a glass of wine to Zoe, his smile faltering when Max entered a few steps behind her.

"No drink for me?" He gave Nick a humourless smile.

"The bar is open, help yourself. Zo, you remember Jennifer?" As Nick led Zoe away from Max, the porter took a deep breath and walked to the bar.

…

"That's the guy I saw her hugging." Robyn told Max a short time later as he leant on the bar and watched the two doctors together.

"I know."

"…And you haven't got a problem with it?"

"It's up to Zoe who she hugs."

"And _that_ doesn't bother you?" Robyn asked as Nick rested a hand on the small of Zoe's back.

"Are you trying to start a punch up?"

"I just don't understand why you're not doing- Max, where are you going?!" Robyn rushed after Max as he picked up his jacket.

"Home."

"What about Zoe?"

Max threw the car keys at Robyn before walking out the door.

…

Where they stood talking in a group, Zoe gave a sigh and removed Nick's hand from her back for the second time, giving him a warning look. While she enjoyed catching up with old faces, she didn't quite understand why Nick had organised it after what she'd told him over the past couple of days, why he'd think she wanted to go over the past right now.

Turning, her eyes searched for Max, and then she left the conversation abruptly to go to Robyn. "Where's Max?"

"Gone. He got sick of watching you flirt with an old flame. He left you these." Robyn held out the keys to Zoe, dropping them on the bar before she could retrieve them.

"…You know what I would like? People to stop making assumptions about my relationship with anyone when it has nothing to do with them." Zoe picked up the keys and stormed from the pub, ignoring Nick as he called after her.


	8. Panic Stations

As Zoe's eyes scanned for Max, she felt herself beginning to hyperventilate. Unable to see him, she pulled out her phone, but her hands were shaking so much she dropped it to the gravel, the screen shattering. Max was the only thing keeping her together right now, and if he wasn't talking to her-

"Are you alright, Zoe?" Rita asked, touching her arm.

"I thought you left hours ago." Zoe managed, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay.

"I did, but there's been a bus crash so they called me back in."

"I should come in, too." Zoe bent to pick up her phone.

"No, don't be silly. You look exhausted, go home and enjoy your weekend."

"…You haven't seen Max, have you?"

"He's waiting for you by your car. I'll see you Monday."

Zoe took a deep breath and slowly released it before walking to where they'd parked the car this morning. On the bench near the car sat Max, smoke billowing from his cigarette as he flicked through something on his phone.

"I thought you'd gone."

Max glanced up and gave a smile when he saw Zoe. "You are talking to me, aren't you? The same guy who hangs around the bathroom door when you go to the toilet in case I start missing you."

Zoe smiled, sitting next to him as she took the offered cigarette. "I wish I could stop being so bloody emotional."

"I quite like emotional Zoe. Makes me feel more manly."

Zoe's smile widened and she passed the cigarette back to her husband. "There'll need to be a lot of tears on my part before you're ever manly."

"I'm crushed." Max stood and held out his hand. "Home?"

Zoe nodded, then shook her head, and then nodded again.

"It's not a hard decision, Zo."

"I just…there's something I want to tell you, and I think it might be easier on neutral ground. I really, really don't want to tell you, but I think maybe someone else will if I don't."

Max sank back onto the bench, a frown forming on his forehead.

"I...a few weeks ago…I-" Zoe lost her nerve when she saw the concern on Max's face. "When I was with Nick, we had a child."

Before Max could reply, Rita reappeared. "Thank god I caught you! We will need you in after all, Zoe."

"Not now." Max said softly.

"Listen, we've got 2 busloads of people coming in because no one else can take them, and-"

"NOT NOW!" Max snapped, leaving Rita gobsmacked.

"No, it's fine. I'll come now." Zoe stood up, unable to look at Max.

"Zoe." He reached out for her hand but she pulled it away before following Rita.


	9. Letters from the Heart

Zoe kept her head down while she worked, not willing to risk making eye contact with Max, who she'd seen helping out. As there was a lull in patients, Zoe sat down with a sigh and almost immediately a cup of coffee was place in front of her.

"Are you ok?" An unusually quiet voice asked.

Zoe glanced up at Max then back down at the file in front of her as though she was busy reading it.

"Ok, ignoring the porter is fine but just remember that in that parallel universe of our relationship, I care about you-"

When Max saw the slight smile pull at Zoe's lips at this familiar line, he continued.

"And when life gets rough I'm there for you and when bad stuff gets into your head I still love you."

When Zoe finally looked up at him with a smile, Max added, "I know that wasn't what you wanted to tell me Zoe, but whatever it is, don't rush it. Just tell me when you're ready, and if anyone else tries to tell me anything, I've got these." He held up the ear buds that hung around his neck.

Zoe watched with a smile as he slipped them into his ears and walked away. Releasing a slow breath, Zoe found her nerves had finally calmed and she looked down at her patient's file with renewed focus.

…

"Zoe-" Nick poked his head into her office the next morning.

"Whatever it is, I'm not in the mood, Nick. I've only had a couple of hours sleep and I can't face talking to anyone about anything today."

"I'll go out and get you something for breakfast."

Zoe sighed, and then nodded. "Thank you."

A few moments after Nick left, a man with a cheeky grin appeared in the doorway. "Morning!"

"How do you manage to look so cheerful? You had even less sleep than I did."

"It's not about quantity, it's about quality, and with you sleeping by my side even a 15 minute nap would be enough to keep me going for days."

Zoe rolled her eyes, but couldn't stop the smile appearing on her face. "Go away, your grin is giving me a headache."

…

Nick had just left Zoe with more food than she normally consumed in a day when Tess knocked on the door. "Got a minute?"

Zoe nodded, indicating to the chair opposite as she swallowed a piece of muffin.

Shutting the door, Tess sat down and raised her eyebrows at the food. "Max?"

"Nick."

"Oh."

Zoe nodded, running a hand through her hair. "Max only got about half an hours sleep last night, so I should probably have been the one taking him breakfast, anyway."

"I thought you two took the on call room last night?"

"Well I did, but he insisted on going home so he could get me what I needed for today."

"That's thoughtful."

Zoe nodded, studying her coffee mug for a moment before looking up. "Tess, I have no idea what to do. I feel like the whole hospital is going to know what happened before Max finds out, but I just can't bring myself to tell him."

Tess, who had discovered Zoe in the ED toilets that day, reached out and rested a hand on the doctor's. "What about writing him a letter? From my experience, it's sometimes easier to say everything you need to say that way."

"It's a bit impersonal though, isn't it? Hello, hope your day is going well. 7 years ago I had a baby with the guy who has been annoying you all week, oh and by the way I was also pregnant with your baby and now I'm not."

Tess gave a slight smile. "Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that."

….

Max was whistling when he walked into his office, but he stopped mid chorus when he saw a hospital envelope on the table with his name written on it. His first thought was that it was divorce papers and his second thought was that it was a termination letter. He turned it over and over again in his hands before he could finally bring himself to open it.

 _Max,_

 _There are so many things I've wanted to tell you, but when I had the courage it wasn't the right moment, and when it seemed the right time suddenly I wouldn't be able to think of the words._

 _Something I've told you before but not properly- I love you. Waking up next to you is something I want to do forever, because no matter what mood either of us are in or what else is happening, you always have a smile for me in the morning. Sometimes I wake up early just so I can watch you wake with a frown, remember where you are and then just give a sleepy smile. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before, and that's another reason I'm finding talking to you so difficult. In true Max Walker, I'm going to start from the middle of the story and probably leave you wondering about where it started._

 _Nick and I had been in a relationship, if you could call it that, for over a year when I found out I was pregnant. Our relationship mostly consisted of alcohol, work arguments and sex, so when I found out, I didn't want to tell him. I never did tell him, but it turns out he was also seeing the midwife I went to see, and she happened to mention it in conversation. I was surprised by how happy he seemed, and suddenly I thought I was going to have it all- the job, the husband, the child, the house….everything. And I did, for a while. We started properly dating, going out places together, telling people about us. Then I got sick, an infection that they admitted me for, and he didn't come to visit me once. Tess was by my bed the whole time reassuring me, but Nick only passed on messages through other people. Then I went into labour. Our beautiful baby boy lasted a week before he died from the same infection I'd had. In that week, Nick sat with me, he cried with me and he apologised. He blamed himself for not doing more, not doing what was expected of him. We were together for a month afterwards, and then he left. Aside from Tess, no one at work knew what had happened so they all treated me the same, but I knew I wasn't the same anymore. I shut off my emotions, I wasn't going to let anyone in ever again. Until you._

Here Max had to stop reading for a few seconds to calm himself as his emotions fought between anger at Nick and pain for Zoe.

 _Every time I saw you, my heart would give a little flutter, and no matter how rude I was to you or how annoying you were, that didn't go away, it just got worse. Before I knew it, you were like a part of me, and when you weren't around I felt lost. Not that I would tell you that, because Dr Hanna never feels that way._

Max smiled at this, playing with his wedding ring as he continued reading.

 _After the infection, they told me I'd never be able to have children- there was too much scar tissue. Up until I met you, I was ok with that, but then suddenly it hurt, knowing I'd never be able to give you something I knew you wanted. Then 2 months ago I started feeling strange. Tess suggested a pregnancy test, just to rule it out. It was positive. I almost ran down to your office straight away, but then I decided I would wait to tell you until that Friday, the third anniversary of our first kiss. I had it all planned. But on Friday morning, I lost our baby._

 _..._


	10. No Offence

When Zoe entered her office a short time later, she went cold. The letter was no longer on the table.

Pausing by the door, Robyn glanced inside the office, wondering what Zoe had seen that made her look as white as a ghost. "Zoe, I was just in your office, I hope you don't mind. Max needed the phone charger. I took him that letter as well."

"How long ago?"

Robyn shrugged. "About 5 minutes, I think."

…

As Max stared at the letter in front of him, the door was suddenly pulled open by a breathless Zoe. He glanced up at her, then back down at the letter.

"…I hadn't finished it. I wasn't even sure I was going to give it to you, I just needed to work out how to say it."

"Who else knows? Who did you tell before me?" Max asked quietly.

Stepping further inside, Zoe shut the door and leant against it. "Tess knows."

Max nodded, folding the letter slowly before sliding it back into the envelope. "I know Nick Jordan knows. He said you told him something you wouldn't tell me. I thought he was just trying to bait me into arguing with him."

"It…I was… I felt like I let you down, I couldn't tell you." Zoe watched with a concerned frown as Max stood up and walked towards her. He had such an expressive face she could usually read him easily, but this time she couldn't tell how he was feeling. "Max, I-"

A slow breath of relief left Zoe's body as Max wrapped his arms around her tightly and lowered his head to rest against hers.

"Max." This time Zoe's voice came out in desperation, though she was unsure what she wanted from him.

Max dropped a tender kiss to Zoe's cheek, and after a few seconds whispered in her ear, "You could never let me down."

The honesty she recognised in his voice brought Zoe to tears.

…

"Dylan, have you seen Mrs Beauchamp recently?" Max leant on the desk in front of the doctor who tutted and picked up the file he was reading.

"How recently are we talking? This week, yesterday, this morning…?"

Max sighed and pushed himself up. "Do you know where she is?"

"In her office. Do you need me to find anyone else for you, or can I get on with the work I'm paid to do?"

For once, Max didn't give an equally smart response and Dylan watched him with a frown as the porter knocked on the office door.

"Come in!"

Max stuck his head around the door then entered hesitantly.

Connie continued writing for a short time before she finally gave a sigh and looked up. "What? Did you have something to say or did you just want to watch me work?"

"I was...ah…hoping to get some time off for Zoe."

"And she can't ask me herself?"

Max glanced towards the door, and when he saw all the people stood close to it he walked across the office to shut it.

…

Several hours later, Dylan knocked impatiently on the front door of Zoe's house for the third time. He was about to phone her again when Zoe pulled open the door.

"Can you not take a hint, Dylan?!"

"Well, I…you look terrible," Dylan offered as he took in the sight of Zoe with no make up on in pyjama pants and an old Duran Duran t-shirt.

"Thanks for that. Is there something you wanted?" Zoe had been in bed watching a bad movie when the doorbell rang, and she ached to get back to the security of her blankets.

"You left work early, I just wanted to see if everything is ok."

"I'm fine. I've just taken a few days off." Was Zoe's terse reply.

"It's… I've just noticed you've not been yourself the past few days, and I thought perhaps you would like to borrow Dervla? She's helpful with that sort of thing. More than I am, anyway."

Dylan was surprised when Zoe leant forward to drop a kiss to his cheek. "You may be odd Dylan Keogh, but I love you."

"Aren't you supposed to add no offence in there somewhere?"

\


	11. Breathless

Max's footsteps slowed when he entered his home that evening. Dylan was sat on the couch with Dervla who was covered in a new blanket.

Dylan glanced up from his book when he heard someone walk in the room and gave a nod of recognition. "Maxwell."

"…Where's Zoe?"

"Ah, she went out. Dervla needed some more dog food."

"Right. And why exactly couldn't she eat something from one of those cans you store on your boat?"

"It's got water damage and she's come down with an infection. Zoe said I could stay here a few days."

"Right. Well. I'm going to go and have a bath."

As Max walked past him with a frown, Dylan turned back to his book.

…

"Max?" Zoe knocked on the bathroom door several minutes later. When she didn't get a reply, Zoe pushed open the door to find Max reclining in a bubble bath with wireless headphones on and his eyes shut.

Max jolted up when he felt someone climbing into the bath and water splashed on the floor. When his eyes flew open, he was greeted with the sight of Zoe resting against the other side of the bath, her eyes closing. Taking his headphones off, he watched her for a moment before saying, "If you didn't want to talk to me, you could have just said, you didn't need to invite him over."

"I didn't invite him. He showed up and asked if I wanted to borrow Dervla, and when I said ok, he asked if we had a spare room. I could hardly tell him to go away when he's put a roof over my head before."

"Why is it you always seem to have trouble telling other people no, but you seem to have no issue saying it to me?"

Zoe gave a slight smile, slipping lower into the bath so her feet rested on Max's chest. "Because you're safe."

"Is that a good thing?" Max rested his hands on Zoe's feet and began to massage them.

Before Zoe could reply, Dylan knocked on the door. "Maxwell, Mr Jordan is at the front door and I can't find Zoe."

Max sighed and rested his head back. "Why don't we just have a bloody party."

"Pardon?" Dylan called.

"Tell him to piss off, Dylan. If he doesn't, set Dervla on him."

"She's not that sort of dog, she-"

"I'll be out in a bloody minute!"

…

"Where's Zoe?" Nick asked as soon as Max opened the front door.

Max was surprised to find he had a new ally as Dylan stood next to him and replied, "She's not here, you'll have to come back another time."

"Or I could come in and wait for her."

As Nick stepped forward, Max stood in his way. "I don't think so. She's taking a few days off, so if it's work you want to talk about, talk to Connie, and if it's not, call Zoe. If she doesn't answer, perhaps she doesn't want to talk to you."

When Max slammed the door in Nick's face, Dylan gave a sigh. "That man is… completely arrogant. I can't stand him."

"Join the club. Did you just feed your dog the steaks from the fridge?!"

"Ah, yes, sorry. Zoe got the wrong dog food."

"Of course she did. I'm going to bed."

"What about dinner?"

"Help yourself, Dylan. It's not like you wouldn't anyway."

"Should I make enough for just me, or would Zoe like some as well?"

"Who knows what Zoe wants. I clearly don't."

…

Max lay alone in bed a short time later listening to Zoe and Dylan talking downstairs. What Zoe had told him hadn't really sunk in until he was in the bath earlier, then it was as though all the breath was drawn from his body and for a few seconds he couldn't breathe. When he'd got Zoe time off, he'd imagined coming home to her and talking about everything, crying together as Zoe had said she'd done with Nick, but instead he could hear her laughing with her friend as he lay up here alone.


	12. Comfort

Max spent a sleepless night in bed, finally falling asleep at 6am only to be woken up an hour later by his alarm. On autopilot, he went to the bathroom and got dressed before reluctantly walking towards the kitchen. In the doorway to the lounge room, he paused. On the couch, tangled in a blanket, lay Zoe. Her face was still blotchy from crying herself to sleep and she was holding Dervla so tight the dog was looking panicked. After much hesitation, Max was about to go to her when Dylan appeared.

"You're out of coffee. Dervla, come." The dog jumped down from the couch thankfully, but the loss of warmth woke Zoe, who looked momentarily confused about where she was. Sensing someone was nearby, she looked towards the doorway but found it empty.

…

"So, I was thinking." Robyn began as Max approached the ED, early for his shift.

"Must have been painful."

"Oh, very funny. I was thinking that because Zoe finally has a Christmas day off, we could have a big family get together."

"Yeah, because there's nothing Zoe likes more than being forced into a room full of people she hasn't met before who want to ask her all about her work and her desires to have children and what she thinks of being married to someone younger than her."

Robyn stared after her brother as he continued walking. "It was just an idea!"

…

"Are you awake? I've brought some more coffee." Dylan hovered in the in the lounge and looked at the blanket that was pulled over Zoe's head.

"Where's Max?" Zoe asked, her voice muffled.

"He went to work, I believe. He did leave you this." Dylan threw something that landed softly on Zoe's middle.

After much hesitation, she pushed away the blanket to find an envelope with her name on it. Reaching for it, Zoe glanced towards the kitchen where Dylan was banging around before she pulled the letter out.

 _Zoe,_

 _Since we're telling each other important things by old-fashioned mail these days, there's something I need to tell you. I love you. No if, or buts, or when's. I love you. I have since the day I met you and I will until the day I die. I know in the past you've been hurt, but I wish you would see that I'm not like any of those people. I wish you would trust me. I want to meet that woman inside of you who is scared and I want to show her that she has nothing to be afraid of._

 _I don't blame you for losing our child, I don't blame you for not telling me and I don't blame you for trying to keep your emotions inside. I'm not angry or hurt- I'm sad. And I'm jealous. Jealous that years ago you let someone else share your pain, but you won't let me._

\- _Max._


	13. Tears and Pancakes

Thanks so much for all the reviews, everyone!

So glad you're enjoying this. I think it's going to be a long one.

...

Just after Dylan left, someone knocked on the door and Dervla rushed to the door. Thinking it was Dylan back, Zoe sighed and climbed from the couch, Picking up Max's work hoodie on the way past to pull it on. "Dylan, I-" She stopped when the door was fully open and she found Nick stood on the doorstep.

"Morning. I brought coffee." Nick held it up with a smile.

Zoe stepped aside to let him in, but suddenly felt self-conscious. She didn't mind Max seeing her like this, and Dylan was used to it, but Nick had only ever seen her in heels and dresses. "Thanks. I was just about to have a shower, do you mind?"

"Go ahead, I'll wait down here. I might even make you some breakfast if you have more in your fridge than you used to."

…

Still feeling exhausted and wanting nothing more to get into bed, Zoe showered, dried her hair, put on some heels and a dress and then did her make up. She stared at herself in the mirror for a long time before walking back towards the kitchen. "Something smells nice."

"Pancakes."

"I never knew you could cook." When Zoe sat down, she noticed one of Max's work shirts on the seat beside her. Reaching out, she pulled it onto her lap and held it close.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me. Enjoy." He put a plate in front of her and sat opposite with just his coffee.

"You're not having any?"

"I already ate, but you look like you could do with something more substantial than coffee. You look exhausted."

"Thanks," Zoe offered sarcastically, tucking hair behind her ear.

Nick smiled and reached across the table to rest his hand on top of hers. "I still think you're gorgeous, Zoe."

Zoe pulled her hand away and rested it back on Max's shirt, leaving her food untouched. "Why are you here, Nick? My life is a complete mess at the moment, and I don't need any more complications."

"I just want what's best for you, Zoe. I always have. And I don't think where you are at the moment is helping you. I want you to come back to America with me. I have a position at my hospital for you and somewhere you can stay."

Zoe sighed and shut her eyes. "I'm not just me anymore, Nick. I can't just disappear overseas on a whim. Especially a whim that involves my ex."

"You know you want to." Nick pressed, smiling.

"…No. I used to want that, Nick. I used to want a lot of things, and I thought I lost the chance to have any of them when you left. But now I don't want for anything because I have all I need. Well, almost all I need, and what I don't have is not something you can give me, so I'd really appreciate it if you stopped…doing whatever it is you're trying to do."

"Zoe-"

"No, Nick. I want you to leave."

…

When the door shut behind Zoe, she sank against it, tears threatening again. Pulling out her phone, she dialled a familiar number with shaking hands.

"Zoe?"

"Can you please come home?"

When Max heard Zoe's voice break, he shut his eyes. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

…

"Zoe?" Max called as he opened the front door a short time later. When he didn't get a response, he called out again, tripping over Dervla as he rushed towards the bedroom.

He found her curled up on the bed, dress and heels still on, make up streaked with tears.


	14. Letting go

Two hours later, Zoe found herself back in casual clothes once more, make up scrubbed from her face and her hair still damp from a long, warm shower. She'd been sat with Max in complete, comfortable silence for almost 20 minutes when she remembered she'd called him while he was at work.

"Do you need to get back to work?"

Max jolted, woken from the doze he'd fallen into. He gently released one of Zoe's hands and lifted his hand to rub his eyes. "I called in sick while you were in the shower. Apparently Dylan had already told them, so I guess he must have seen me leave."

"Dylan? Well, you must have made quite the impression on him."

Max smiled and dropped a kiss to Zoe's head, shutting his eyes again.

"…Max?"

"Mmm?"

"I want to try."

His eyes flickered open and a frown of confusion creased his forehead. "Try what?"

"They said it wasn't possible, but it happened. If it could happen again, maybe there's something that can be done to help it last."

"Zoe…"

"Please, Max. I need to try."

Max gave a long sigh, thinking back to when he'd arrived home just over an hour earlier and Zoe had been curled up sobbing, finally letting him see her vulnerable. "Ok. But not right away."

Zoe nodded, resting her head back onto Max's chest.

"But you need to talk to me, Zoe. Or at least write me letters, because if I don't know what's going on, there's nothing I can do to help."

"You help me just by being you, but I promise to try and open up to you more."

"Pinky promise?"

Zoe smiled as Max held out his finger. After a pause, she wrapped her own around it. "You're so silly."

"All the best people are."

…

Dylan entered the home hesitantly that evening, unsure what scene might welcome him, but he arrived to find Zoe yelling at Max for spilling coffee on her paperwork and Max grinning like he didn't have a care in the world. Much the same as usual, then.

"Where's Dervla?"

"Pound." Max supplied, making Dylan's head shoot up.

"What?"

Zoe pushed the cloth she'd been using to mop up the spilt coffee into Max's hands. "She's in bed. My bed, to be exact. Come and look what she did to my pillow."

As Zoe stomped from the room, Max grabbed Dylan's arm. "Listen…thanks for today. My boss looks for any excuse to get rid of me, so I really appreciate what you did."

Dylan pulled his arm away and then gave an awkward nod of acknowledgement. "How is she?"

"Dylan, if you don't come here this minute and clean this mess up, you can find somewhere else to stay!"

As Zoe yelled, Max gave a smile. "I think she will be fine."

…

 _The End_

 _Or, at least maybe. I feel like pregnancy, adopting etc has been written quite a bit for Zax, so I want to give you an option. I can end this story here, I can write on about their struggle to get pregnant and/or adopting, or I can skip a few years ahead to see where they are. Please PM or write a review and tell me which you're prefer! Thank you for reading :)_


	15. Pink

_a/n- So as people wanted a few different things, I've tried to include them all. Everything should be explained and explored over the next few chapters, and if there's anything in particular you want me to write, PM me or write it as a comment :)_

* * *

 ** _4 YEARS LATER_**

"Zoe, have you got a minute?" Lofty poked his head around Zoe's office door.

"One minute."

"I just wanted to ask you about the party, make sure I've invited everyone you want there. I've sorted the venue, the food and drink, and Robyn is sorting out the music, but-"

"What party?" Zoe finally raised her head.

Lofty rolled his eyes. "Max's birthday! You asked me to sort it, remember?"

Zoe shut her eyes. "Sorry, Lofty. Whoever you want to invite is fine."

"Ok, well if you think of anyone just let me know!" Lofty smiled and slid from the room.

Zoe surveyed the mess her desk was in with dismay before pushing herself to her feet. A walk would clear her head, and maybe by the time she got back, some of the paperwork would have miraculously disappeared.

…

"You haven't seen me." Zoe offered as a shadow fell over her.

"What, naked or in general?" Max asked as he joined his wife on the bench.

Smiling, Zoe took the chocolate bar he offered before shutting her eyes again, enjoying the warmth of the sun. "Shut up."

"Out here avoiding paperwork?" Max asked as he bit into his own chocolate and rested back.

"I'm hoping by the time I go back in there my paperwork will have disappeared."

"Does that ever happen?"

Zoe shook her head, accepting the piece of chocolate Max pressed to her lips before smiling as he followed it with a kiss. "I haven't seen you much today."

"Rita told me you were dealing with complaints, so I figured it would be better to stay away."

Zoe rolled her eyes and took the rest of Max's chocolate from him, poking her tongue out before she bit into the bar. "Go away."

"Nice. I'll see you later." Max pushed himself to his feet.

"If I decide to come home."

"You will. I'm adorable." Max turned back with a grin, and Zoe grinned back despite herself.

She watched him saunter away until he disappeared before finally looking down at her pager. A meeting had been called. Groaning, Zoe pushed herself up and straightened her dress.

…

"Zoe!"

Two hours later, Zoe exited the meeting room and looked up towards her friend. "Rita! I didn't know you were back!"

"Yeah, my shift started an hour ago. Listen-"

"How was the holiday? I bet it was amazing. What I wouldn't do for some warm sun right now."

"It was good. Great, in fact. Listen, there's been a sort of…incident downstairs."

"What sort of incident? Can't Connie deal with it?"

"It's not something she can deal with."

Frowning, Zoe pressed the lift button. "What happened?"

"…Ruby was brought in."

"What?! What happened? When?"

"About an hour ago, but-"

"Why didn't someone come and get me?!" Zoe pressed the lift button with increasing annoyance until it finally reached their level, and then she rushed inside.

"We tried, but your phone was off and Guy Self's secretary wouldn't let anyone into the room. She's fine, though. Max is with her, and-"

"She's clearly not fine if she's been brought into ED, Rita!"

Rita stopped Zoe as they stepped off the lift. "Ok, you need to calm down. Ruby has had a shock, and she's upset enough as it is without you going in there shooting questions. Just sit down for a minute and let me explain what I know."

Zoe let out a long breath before sitting down in reception.

"Right, the teacher she came in with said-"

"Which teacher was it? Did the school even try to contact me?"

When Rita raised an eyebrow, Zoe let out another breath and motioned for her to continue.

"A Mrs Parker brought her in, she has left now but has given her home number to Max so you can both call her later with any questions. From what she saw, Ruby was on the monkey bars with her friend Ella when an older child knocked her off." Seeing Zoe was about to interrupt again, Rita raised her voice slightly. "She has a wrist fracture, which Dylan has just put in plaster, and both her knees are grazed. She was a bit upset when she came in, but she seems fine now, and if you go in there upset…well, you know what she's like."

Zoe nodded and took a few more calming breaths before she managed a smile for her friend. "Thanks, Rita. Where is she?"

"Max said he was taking her to the staffroom."

Zoe stood up and took another deep breath, aware that Ruby often picked up on and copied her moods.

* * *

 _When they first met Ruby she was 2, had been labelled a problem child by social services and had been ferried around different foster carers her whole life. She was brought in late one night and Dylan had been looking after her, but had reluctantly asked Zoe for a second opinion. Zoe had just found out her fourth attempt at IVF had failed and had been in her office most of the shift alternating between crying and anger._

 _When she walked into Ruby's cubicle, the breath was drawn from Zoe's body. In front of her was the child from her dreams, who looked exactly how Zoe imagined her child with Max would look. The thought that was forming in her mind was broken the moment Ruby swung out a leg and kicked her hard in the shins. Uncharacteristically, Zoe had burst into tears, and a moment later Ruby had as well and launched herself at Zoe to hug her. People were always either cross with Ruby or too patient with her, but no one had ever cried before. She'd held tightly to Zoe for hours, refusing to let go._

 _It had taken them almost 2 years to adopt her, social services unwilling to give a 'problem child' to someone who was so busy with work. Zoe had changed almost everything in her life so that Ruby could live with them, and the first day she was finally theirs they'd spent on the couch cuddling each other in silence._

 _That was almost a year ago now, and Ruby had started school only a few weeks ago, which had been a hard transition for both of them._

 _Max, on the other hand, was Ruby's idol. She'd refused to talk to him for weeks after they'd first met, and she was never naughty in front of him. Zoe was quite sure that it was Max's presence and the hold he seemed to have over Ruby that finally convinced social services that they were the right family for Ruby._

* * *

When Max saw Zoe in the staffroom doorway, he put a finger to his lips and pointed to the couch where Ruby was fast asleep.

"Did they give her something for the pain? What sort of fracture was it? Where's the phone number for the teacher?" Zoe fired questions at Max in a whisper. She only stopped when Max put a finger to her lips.

"Deep breath."

Zoe rolled her eyes but did as her husband suggested and felt her heart rate beginning to slow again.

"She's fine. She's not in any pain, Dylan said it was a clean break and will heal in a few weeks, and the teacher already feels bad enough without you yelling at her."

"But-"

"Ruby knew she wasn't supposed to go on the monkey bars, they've given the kid who knocked her off detention and spoken to his parents. They've done everything they could, Zo."

Zoe let out another deep breath and could see the tears beginning to brim in her eyes, clouding her vision. "I wasn't there to look after her."

Max pulled Zoe into a tight hug then, and she buried her face into his shirt and stayed there until a hand suddenly tugged the side of her skirt.

"Mama, look!" Ruby held up her pink cast proudly.

Zoe brushed her tears away on Max's shirt before grinning down at her daughter. "Wow! You must have been very brave."

"I was. Very. Uncle Dylan said I was the bravest person he'd ever met."

"You know, when I was little I broke my arm too and guess what colour my cast was?"

"Pink?" Ruby stared at her with wide eyes.

"Yep. How about we go home and I'll show you a picture?"

As Ruby nodded her head furiously, Zoe glanced at Max. "Can you get the files on the left side of my desk and take them to the car, please?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"You're supposed to kiss him!" Ruby supplied with a grin.

Zoe grinned too and kissed Max lightly. "What would I do without you?"

"Eat lots more take away." Ruby said.

"Thank you, cheeky. Come on, we'll wait in the car and you can tell me what happened."

As Ruby nodded and skipped off, Max dropped a kiss to Zoe's forehead and squeezed her hand. "No tears, Zo. We'll have a good cry when she's gone to bed."

…


	16. Tears And Photos

Ruby fell fast asleep again in the car, leaving Max to carry her up into their apartment, Zoe trailing behind with her paperwork.

"Put her on the couch so I can keep an eye on her while I do my work, and then go out and get some shopping, I've made a list." Zoe ordered.

Max smiled to himself and set Ruby on the couch, taking off her shoes before covering her with a blanket. He then walked to Zoe, took the list from her and dropped a kiss to her head. "Please."

Setting up her paperwork, Zoe paused to give Max a smile. "Sorry. Please?"

…

Zoe was half way through her first file when a small face suddenly appeared in front of her with a grin. "Where's the photo?"

"I thought you were tired?"

"I was, but I've had a grumpy sleep. That's what Daddy calls them when you have a nap, because-"

"Yes, I know, thank you. Alright, sit here and I will go and find the photo."

"Can I read your files?"

"No!"

Ruby gave a sigh and sat swinging her legs for a moment before she picked up the file and opened it. She skimmed the page, found nothing she could understand, and shut the file before picking up Zoe's phone.

"Can I send Daddy a message?" She called out to Zoe.

Zoe smiled to herself. Ruby still refused to call him anything other than Max to his face, but as soon as he left the room he was Daddy. "Yes, but no games."

Ruby frowned in concentration as she typed Max a message, giggling when Zoe suddenly wrapped her arms around Ruby's neck from behind. "Are you sending him a rude message?"

Ruby giggled harder, trying to move the phone away from Zoe. "No."

"You are!" Zoe finally managed to grab the phone, smiling as she read _You have a big botom. Bring me som choclat love Zoe._

"Shall we send it?" Zoe asked, and Ruby nodded her head enthusiastically, still giggling.

Zoe pressed send and then joined Ruby on the couch. "Look, here is the photo. It was the same arm, too!"

"We were matching!" Ruby began flicking through the photo album before stopping on a picture of a baby. "Is that me?"

"No, that's me."

"Do you have any photos of me when I was a baby?"

Zoe hesitated, running a hand over Ruby's hair as she continued looking through the photos. "No, I don't."

"How come?" Ruby looked up at her.

"I didn't know you when you were a baby."

"...Will I have to go back and stay with other people again one day if you have your own baby?"

Zoe gave a sad smile and reached up a hand to stroke Ruby's cheek. They had this conversation at least once a week. "You can live with us for always."

"…Even if I'm naughty? Because I wasn't supposed to go on the monkey bars, but I did anyway." Tears began to shine in Ruby's eyes, and Zoe had to blink away her own.

"Sometimes we might get cross with you if you're naughty, but we will never, ever send you away. I promise."

Ruby was quiet for a moment, playing with Zoe's wedding ring before she admitted, "My arm is a bit sore."

"How about we give you one of the pills that Uncle Dylan gave you, and then we can snuggle on the couch and watch a movie?"

Ruby nodded, but when Zoe stood she kept clinging to her, so Zoe was forced to pull Ruby into her arms and carry her towards the kitchen where Max had left the medication.

…

When Max entered half an hour later, he was about to comment on the message he'd received, but when Zoe looked at him over the back on the couch, the words died in his mouth. She looked like she was struggling to keep tears at bay, and after a few seconds he realised he could hear muffled sobbing. Taking a few steps closer, he found Ruby with her face buried in Zoe's middle, her small shoulders heaving with emotion as she cried.

He looked at Zoe with a questioning frown, but all she did was shake her head and then shut her eyes.

Max disappeared to the kitchen for a moment to put down the shopping before he reappeared and sat next to Zoe. Her face was immediately buried into his jacket and he felt her tears begin as he replaced her hand on the back of Ruby's head.

…

It was an hour before Ruby fell into an exhausted sleep, her head resting on Zoe's lap. Zoe herself refused to move from her position hiding her face against Max.

"What happened?"

Zoe swallowed, her voice husky. "I just wanted to show her the photo, but I should have thought. It was so stupid of me!"

Max moved back a little now so he could look at Zoe's face. Reaching up, he pushed wet strands of hair behind her ear before tilting her face up so she'd look at him. "What happened, Zo?"

"…She saw the photos of me as a baby, and she asked if we had any of her. When I said no, she asked about staying here again. She was worried if she's naughty we'll send her back. I told her we wouldn't, but she doesn't believe me, Max, and I don't know how to make her. Every time she does something wrong, she's terrified we're going to say we don't want her anymore." Zoe's tears threatened to fall again, and Max felt his own tears shining, for Zoe had a look of desperation on her face as though she needed him to tell her the answer, but he didn't know what it was.

Instead of replying, Max just pulled Zoe closer once more.

* * *

Zoe couldn't work out what had woken her. Squinting at the clock, she found it was only 3am and Max beside her was still fast asleep. She was about to fall asleep once more when there was another loud noise from Ruby's room.

Rubbing her face, Zoe climbed from the bed and walked to the room that was blazing with light. She surveyed the clothes covered floor in silence before watching as Ruby walked out of the closet. "…What are you doing?"

"Picking a dress. I haven't got one that's just right, can we go to the shops?"

"A dress for what?"

"For the photos." Ruby supplied, now going through her shoes.

"…I think I've missed something here. What photos?"

"Proper photos, like Ella has with her family. We all have to dress up really fancy and get a proper camera to take a photo of us and then we can make it really big and hang it from the wall."

"Right. That sounds lovely, but its 3am, Ruby, and none of the shops are open, so how about you get back into bed and we can talk about it in the morning."

"…you do want a proper picture with me, don't you?"

"I would love a proper picture with you, but not without my make up on and definitely not in my pyjamas, so back into bed, you."

Smiling, Ruby rushed back to her bed and pulled the covers over herself as she watched Zoe clear up. "Do you think Daddy will wear a tie?"

"He might if you ask him nicely. Now go back to sleep." Zoe tucked the covers around Ruby and dropped a kiss to her head. "And no more dress ups until the morning."

As Zoe flicked the overhead light off, Ruby suddenly called out, "Zoe?"

"Yeah?" Ruby hadn't called her Zoe since she'd started at school and had realised all her friends didn't call their mothers by their maiden name, and Zoe silently hoped they weren't going backwards.

"...Will you stay with me?"

In the darkness, Zoe smiled and walked to the bed, climbing in next to Ruby, her heart bursting as the girl snuggled into her side. "Just for tonight."


	17. Princess

"What about this one?" Max held up a dress, sighing when Ruby shook her head. They'd been shopping for almost 2 hours now, looking for the perfect dress. Zoe had reluctantly gone to work that morning, the only thing stopping her calling in sick was the knowledge that it was the last day of term and she'd already booked the next two weeks off. That and the fact Max had agreed to bring Ruby in for lunch.

"This one?" Max held up another dress hopefully, but it was rejected again and Ruby continued to pull him around the shop by her one free hand.

…

"Are you alright?" Robyn frowned at Zoe. "You're looking a bit green around the gills."

"I think I must be coming down with something. Just in time for school holidays, of course."

"Always the way. Do you want me to get you a bottle of water?"

"Yeah, thanks Robyn. I'd appreciate that. By the way, has Lofty shown you his plans for Max's birthday?"

"Nope, they're top secret apparently."

Zoe sighed. "I knew it was a bad idea to ask him."

* * *

Ruby stepped out of the dressing room hesitantly. She'd insisted she didn't need Max's help putting it on, so he'd sat outside listening to the banging around nervously.

When he saw her, Max smiled. "Do a twirl."

Ruby twirled slowly.

"You look like a princess. All you need is this." Max pulled a tiara from behind his back and rested it on her head, smiling when Ruby blushed with happiness.

"Ella's daddy calls her his little princess."

"Well, now you're my little princess. Princess Ruby Walker, the most beautiful princess in all the land."

"Maybe I could have it in both colours, so I can be a princess every day?"

"You can have both, but I'll tell you a secret?" He pulled Ruby closer when she nodded. "You don't need a pretty dress or a tiara to be my princess, all you need is that cheeky smile of yours."

Ruby grinned up at Max happily, forgetting all about her friend and the dresses. She was finally someone's princess.

"That's the smile. Do you want to keep that dress on to show Zoe?"

"Yes, please. "

* * *

Zoe was waiting outside when they arrived. Under an umbrella to stop herself getting soaked by the rain, she watched with amusement as they trudged towards her, Ruby swamped by Max's raincoat and Max's t-shirt soaked to the bone. "Well, it looks like you two are having a good day."

Max responded with a grumble, but Ruby grabbed Zoe's hand, eager to get out of the rain she could show off her new dress. "Da…Max said I look like a princess!"

"Wow!" Zoe twirled Ruby around "you know what? I know the perfect shoes to go with this dress, and I think someone might have already brought them for you! Why don't you go and have a look in the staffroom?"

Ruby nodded, rushing ahead of them as Max picked up his sodden coat and followed Zoe.

When he offered no words, Zoe glanced sideways at him. "What's the matter with you?"

"Kylie finally kicked the bucket. She was taken on the tow truck to car heaven this morning."

"Aw, we'll have a memorial for her tonight." Zoe kissed Max's cheek.

"Are you making fun of me?"

Zoe grinned, but when Max looked at her she straightened her face. "Never."

Max frowned and studied Zoe's face as they entered the staffroom. "Are you alright? You look a bit pale."

"Nothing a proper sleep wont fix. Do you like them, rubes?"

Ruby nodded, already attempting to get the sequined shoes on her feet.

"Try them on after lunch, but you can't wear them home or they'll get wet."

Ruby put them carefully back in the box before racing to join her parents, accepting a sandwich from Zoe before biting into it happily as she looked down at her new dress.

"You're not having one?" Max asked, taking a bite of his own.

Zoe shook her head, putting a hand to her stomach. "I've felt nauseous all day. I did take something earlier, but it doesn't seem to have helped."

"Well Doctor Max prescribes a long, warm bath and a massage when you get home."

"Sounds perfect." Zoe dropped a kiss to his cheek again before leaning forward to pick up the bags he'd had been carrying.

…

"Have you thought of a way to get Max to his party without ruining the surprise?" Lofty asked as he suddenly appeared by Zoe's side, making her jump.

"Ah, yeah. Ruby wants to get some family photos done, so I was going to book them for a couple of hours before the party. You haven't told me what exactly you're organising yet."

"Never you mind. It's kid friendly, and Max will love it."

"That's what makes me nervous about what it could be." Zoe mumbled to Rita who gave a grin.

"Sorry?" Lofty asked, smiling at Zoe.

"I asked if Greta is coming."

Lofty looked caught out. "…Sorry."

"Lofty!" Zoe banged her hand down on the desk as she looked up with annoyance.

"She saw a post on facebook, and I was too scared to tell her no. You can, if you like?"

Zoe just sighed and stomped back to her office. That was all she needed.


	18. Car Sick

"Robyn, have you seen my car keys? I can't find them anywhere." Zoe finally gave up looking over her desk and walked out to ask her sister-in-law.

"Max took them. He said he wasn't going to walk home in the rain."

"So what am I supposed to do, then? It's still raining!"

Robyn gave an apologetic shrug at Zoe's annoyance. "Walk home like the rest of us mere mortals."

"Have you ever tried to walk home in heels like this? I cannot believe Max!"

The new nurse who had been shadowing Robyn all day gave a frown. "Max as in Max the porter? You and he are-"

"Max the porter and I are nothing if these shoes get ruined."

"Nice." Came a voice behind them, and when they turned they found Max leaning on the desk with a grin. "Just to clarify, those shoes are more important than everything we've built together in this relationship?"

"Yes." Zoe replied, snatching the car keys from him.

The nurse watched them with confusion as Zoe marched away and Max sauntered after her with a smile.

"I wouldn't try to understand their relationship," Robyn supplied. "Are you coming to the pub for a drink?"

…

Zoe paused when she reached the entrance, rain still pouring outside and the umbrella she'd borrowed earlier nowhere to be seen.

Beside her, Max opened his umbrella and stepped out into the rain. "Looks like you might need something from me, Dr Hanna."

"Haven't you forgotten something?"

"What?"

"Short, talks back a lot."

"No, you're right here!"

Zoe folded her arms and frowned at Max's response, leading him to grin again. "Dylan came over, his boat flooded and apparently he thinks our place is a drop in centre for him and Dervla. Hurry up, it's freezing out here."

Zoe pointed down at the puddle before her and then at her shoes before she gave a shocked squeal when Max suddenly pulled her into his arms. Grabbing the umbrella to stop it falling, Zoe laughed softly as Max carried her over the puddle. "What are you doing?"

"Being chivalrous. Should I carry you to the car?"

"Is there anyone we know around?"

"Nope.

"Then yes, please."

* * *

"Mama!" Ruby launched herself at Zoe as soon as she came through the door, but Max intercepted her, catching their daughter as Zoe rushed past them to the bathroom.

"Is she okay?" Dylan asked with a frown.

"Car sick, apparently. Nice apron."

Dylan glanced down with a sigh. "Ruby and I are making your dinner, and she gets rather messy."

"Not on purpose. Should I go and take mama some water?" Ruby looked to Max nervously. She'd had one foster carer she liked, but when the woman had become sick, Ruby had been moved somewhere else.

Max placed Ruby back on the ground. "How about I go and check on her and you finish helping your Uncle Dylan, because I am starving!"

Ruby glanced towards the bathroom and then nodded before she followed after Dylan.

…

"Zo?" Max asked softly as he entered the bathroom. He found her sat on a closed toilet seat, her head in her hands. When she gave no response, he shut the door and walked further into the room to squat down in front of her. When he saw her face, he found her crying silent tears. "Bed?"

Zoe nodded and allowed Max to pull her up and hold her in his arms for a minute before he led her towards the bedroom. Once there, he silently slid off her shoes and dress, changing Zoe into her usual sleepwear before he tucked her into bed. "Better?"

Zoe nodded, her eyes already closing.

Max watched her for a moment, then brushed some hair from her face before quietly leaving the room, switching off the light as he did so.

…

"Okay?" Dylan asked as Max entered the kitchen.

"Mmm." Was Max's only response. An idea was forming in his mind, and he was pretty sure the same thought had already occurred to Zoe, but he wouldn't rush her to talk about it. "Probably just a bug."

"It's been going on a little too long for it to be a bug, Max. She's been feeling unwell for weeks off and on." Dylan put his hands on his hips and stared at the man in front of him.

After a brief pause, a laugh bubbled out of Max and Ruby's laughter soon joined it.

"What's so funny?" Dylan asked with a frown.

"Oh, this one is definitely getting printed off and put up in the staffroom." Max took a photo of Dylan in the superman apron with his hands on his hips and a serious expression on his face.

"Super Doctor!" Ruby exclaimed, and her laughter soon filtering through to Zoe, making her shut her eyes tighter.


	19. Darkness

Ruby walked towards the main bedroom in the dark, holding her toy tightly. She'd tried to switch on her bedroom light so she could go to the toilet, but no light appeared. When she finally found the courage to rush to the main light switch, nothing happened then, either. She then ran back to bed and sat there in a panic, too scared to call out. When the door began to ease open, she began crying softly and wet the bed as she heard breathing.

When she realised it was only Dervla, she threw her arms around the dog and hugged her tightly. Now she held onto Dervla's collar as the dog led her through the house.

"Mama?" Ruby whispered next to Zoe. When she got no response, she tried again, this time shaking Zoe's shoulder. "Mama?"

Grumbling, Zoe rolled over and nestled against Max's side.

Her tears beginning to threaten again, Ruby walked around the other side of the and gently shook Max's shoulder. "Max?"

"Hmm?" Max frowned, but his eyes didn't open.

Emboldened by a response, Ruby shook him again. "Daddy?"

Max's eyes flickered open and he squinted sleepily into the darkness. "Ruby?"

"I did a wee in my bed."

Max rubbed his face and then reached out to switch on the light. He flickered it several times, but no light illuminated the room.

"Right. Big wees or little wees?"

"Big." Ruby stared at him with wide eyes.

Max nodded and swung his legs over the side of the bed and then felt around in the darkness for Ruby's hand. "There's a torch in the kitchen, so we will go and get that and then clean you up."

"You're not cross?"

"Nah, Zoe wets the bed all the time."

Ruby giggled at the thought of Zoe weeing and grasped Max's hand tightly. They made their way to the kitchen and then into the bathroom where Max cleaned Ruby up and put fresh pyjamas on her.

"Better?"

Ruby nodded and then yawned widely.

Unsure how he'd manage to clean up her bed in the dark, Max rubbed his face tiredly for a moment then picked Ruby up. "How would you like to sleep in the big bed with Zoe?"

Ruby nodded, but was asleep before they'd even reached the bedroom. He lay her down on his side of the bed and covered her over with the duvet.

…

When he'd finally finished changing Ruby's sheets, Max walked into the living room. He was wide-awake now and his thoughts were racing.

"What are you doing?!" Dylan cried.

Max jumped up from the couch, his heart racing. "Sorry mate, I forgot you were here."

"Why are you awake, anyway? It's 3 in the morning."

"There's been a power outage or something, and Ruby wet the bed."

"Right, and why does that mean you need to sit on my couch at 3 in the morning?"

"YOUR couch? It's my couch, thank you very much, and I didn't even invite you here, you just showed up, so if I want to sit on my couch, I will." Max sat with a thud, forcing Dylan to sit up and give a sigh.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing." Max offered sulkily.

"Ok." Dylan rested his head back on his pillow.

"Alright, I'll tell you! I'm worried about Zoe."

Dylan sighed and sat up again. "Why?"

"Why? I thought we'd already had this conversation earlier. She never feels well anymore, and she sleeps so heavily when usually she could function perfectly well on a light nap."

"We both know what's wrong with her, Max."

"Do you think she does?"

"Well she's a doctor, so I hope so or I feel sorry for her patients."

Max sighed and rested back against the couch. "I don't know what to do."

"I would suggest talk to her, but we both know Zoe well enough to know that's probably not the best choice."

"You're not being really helpful here Dylan."

"I'm not trying to be."

"I can tell. She's obviously trying to pretend it's not happening, but why? She's wanted this for so long."

"Maybe, but it's not just her, or just the two of you she's thinking about anymore. What about Ruby? She burst into tears when you brought her her first teddy bear because she thought you were giving her a going away present."

Max sighed once more and stared out into the darkness.

"…She'll talk about it when she's ready, Max. Then you can decide what happens together."

"I guess so. Thanks, Dylan."

Dylan grunted and then sat staring at Max in the dark.

"…You want me to go now, don't you?"

"Yes."

Max nodded and pushed himself up. "Night."

Once he reached the bedroom, Max rested the torch on the nightstand and climbed in to lie in the small area of mattress that wasn't being used. He was almost asleep again when a small voice suddenly asked, "Daddy?"

Max smiled at the name and reached out to brush a curl from Ruby's face. "Ruby."

"…I love you."

"I love you, too. More than rainbows and sequined shoes and princess dresses."

In the darkness, Ruby pushed herself up and looked down at Max with wonder. "Really?"

"Really."

Ruby smiled and rested her head back down on the pillow, asleep within seconds.


	20. Ginger Tea

"Where are you going?"

The next morning, Zoe jumped as a voice spoke behind her. Turning, she glanced at Max before she turned back and continued to unlock the door. "Work."

"I thought you had the school holidays off?"

"I do, but there's something I need to do."

Max stepped forward and put a hand over Zoe's on the doorknob, preventing her from turning it. "No."

"No?" Zoe glanced up at Max.

"No. You promised Ruby you would have the next two weeks off. Whatever you're trying to run from, whatever you want to bury yourself in your work to forget, you need to deal with it, because there's a little girl in there about to wake up who has been so excited about spending time with you when you have no distractions."

Zoe stood still for a long time before her hand finally loosened on the doorknob and Max pulled his hand away. "There really is something I need to do at work."

"Fine. We'll all go. We can go out for breakfast, as a family, and then go into work, as a family, and then you can have half an hour to do whatever it is you need to do. After that, I've already made plans."

Zoe opened her mouth to protest, but before she could a sleepy Ruby walked into the room rubbing her eyes. "Where's Dervla gone?"

Max looked at Zoe in silence until she finally met his eye and offered a small nod. He then turned to Ruby. "She's gone with Dylan to check their boat. What do you say to going out for breakfast, Princess Ruby?"

"Yes, please!"

…

Zoe's eyes travelled over the other people in the café. Early on a rainy Saturday morning, it was mostly families of all different sizes. When she used to rush into a café for a take away coffee on the way to work, she used to envy these groups and their comfortable silences, the slowness at which they could eat and the laughter that always seemed to flow from them.

"Morning!"

Someone suddenly fell into the seat opposite Zoe, and she looked up to find Robyn sitting down, followed by Lofty and Rita. "What are you lot doing here?"

"We thought we'd join you for breakfast. They do the best pancake in the world here. Pancakes all round, Max!" Robyn called out, and Max gave a half wave back as Ruby rushed back to the table.

"Aunty Robyn! Will you do my hair like yours again, please?"

"I will." Robyn pulled Ruby onto a chair.

"Are you okay?" Rita asked Zoe quietly.

"Fine."

Rita glanced at Zoe and then decided not to ask anything further. "Ruby has really come into her own over the last few months. Remember when she started school, she looked tiny against all the other kids and I was convinced she'd have trouble getting along with everyone, but she was telling me yesterday that she's friends with everyone in her class."

Zoe smiled. "Yeah. She has come a long way since we met her."

"Must mean you're doing a good job." Rita squeezed Zoe's arm and then stood to join Max.

Zoe watched Ruby thoughtfully until Max fell into the seat beside Zoe and rested his arm casually over the back of her chair. "Apparently the barista thinks I am very attractive."

"She must need glasses. What's this?" Zoe frowned at the mug Max put in front of her.

"Ginger tea. It's good for morning sickness." The words were out before Max thought about it, but when he realised he glanced sideways at Zoe to find she was staring at him. "It's going to be ok. I promise." He offered softly.

"Mama, look at my hair!" Ruby rushed to Zoe's side, forcing her to break eye contact with Max.

"Wow, it's lovely! You know, you should get Robyn to do it like that for the photos!"

…

"Why the hell did you have to bring it up like that?!" Zoe paced the restaurant bathroom with her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. But, Zoe, it will be okay. I know she might freak out at first, but-"

"How can you know, Max? How can you know anything?! Are you a doctor?"

Max's face grew blank and he stopped following Zoe and just stood by the door with his arms folded. "No."

"Exactly. Well I am, and I know that I cannot carry children, and however much I want this one, it's not going to stay around, so it doesn't matter how Ruby will react because there's nothing to tell her!"

"Zoe, last time the doctor said maybe when you stopped focusing on it, it would happen, and you haven't been focusing on it, neither of us has with Ruby around."

"So you decided to just bring it to my attention when we're at a table full of people? What if someone heard?"

"No one did."

"But they could have. They-"

"You're right." Max finally snapped, silencing Zoe. "You're completely right, because you're a doctor and I'm just a porter so what the hell would I know. It's not like it even concerns me, is it? I mean, what right do I have to know about and love our baby even if it might not be around for long? What right do I have to want to look after my wife? What right do I have to want to look after my family? You are completely right."

Zoe stared in silence as Max walked from the room and let the door to bang shut.

…

"Where's Max?" Zoe asked quietly a few minutes later when she'd calmed down enough to return to the table. Ruby was sat next to Rita, and Max's chair was empty, his coat gone.

"He said he wasn't feeling too well and went home. Perhaps he's got what you had. Anyway, he left these and told us to enjoy ourselves." Robyn pushed tickets to the zoo across the table.

Zoe sat down with a sigh, and looked at her pancakes, but what appetite she'd had was gone.

 _Zoe: I'm sorry._

Max usually replied almost straight away to her messages. In fact, the longest she'd ever waited for a reply was 10 minutes and then he'd called with an apology. They were at the café for another hour and as they walked out, Zoe still hadn't received a reply.


	21. Elephants

_A/N: For some reason this story rarely shows as updated. No idea why, sorry! I usually update every 24hrs at the moment so keep checking back if you don't see it!_

 _Also just wanted to say a quick thank you to all the guests that review. I'm so glad you're enjoying this story :)_

* * *

Dylan glanced up when Max walked back into the apartment. "What are you doing back?"

"It's my apartment, I can come back whenever I want."

Dylan frowned as Max flopped on the couch. "I just meant that I thought you had a whole day planned."

"Well, plans change."

Dylan debated whether or not to get involved, but over the past few years he'd seen how happy Zoe was, and though he'd never admit it, he had grown quite fond of Max and Ruby too, so he cleared his throat. "Has something happened?"

Max just replied with a shrug before he turned on the TV.

"Okay, well, you don't need to tell me what happened if you don't want to, but I suspect it has something to do with what we discussed last night, so I just want to tell you that this morning Zoe told me-"

"Great. She talked to you before she talked to me. As usual. Am I ever the one she tells anything to first? Probably not. She's probably worried I'm so stupid that I wont understand."

"All she said to me, Max, was that she's lucky to have you, and if something ever happened that made you leave, she didn't know what she'd do."

Max let out a sigh and tried to focus on the TV.

Dylan waited for a response for several minutes before he began again. "So, I think perhaps she's worried what happened with Nick Jordan might happen again. That if something happens, you might leave."

"You'd think she'd know me better than that by now."

"She does. But scared Zoe is rarely logical Zoe, is she?"

Max sighed again and then finally looked at Dylan. "What do you think I should do, then?"

…

Ruby stood watching the elephants in awe, amazed at their size. She turned to ask Zoe if she thought one might fit in the apartment when she saw Max walking towards them. "Daddy!" She raced past the other adults and threw her arms around his shoulders as he squatted to pick her up.

"Miss me?"

Ruby nodded, brushing hair from her face. "Are you feeling better?"

"Lots. What have I missed?"

"Only the giraffes, some birds and a smelly rhino that made Mama be sick in the bushes. Come and see the elephants! Maybe I can get one for my room?"

As Ruby pulled Max back towards where Lofty and Robyn were waiting by the fence, he glanced towards where Zoe was sitting down and Rita was hovering over her.

"Rita, I'm fine. I feel better now."

"That's what you say almost every day and then you come in sick again the next day. Unless you're-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So is that a yes?"

As Zoe went to lift her head and reply, another voice spoke. "Rita! Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Rita turned to face Max and folded her arms. "What do you want?"

"Can you go and get a cold bottle of water? It usually helps."

Rita glanced at Zoe and then nodded, walking away.

Squatting down in front of Zoe, who was trying to avoid his eyes, Max rested one hand on each of Zoe's knees. "I wouldn't have thought the smell of a rhino would have been so bad after living in a house with Robyn, Lofty and I."

Zoe gave a half smile and looked down at Max's wedding ring.

"So, apparently our daughter wants not a toy elephant, but a real life sized elephant, and she's convinced that if we tell it to be quiet no one else will notice it's in the apartment."

Zoe finally looked up at her husband. "Max, about what I said-"

"It doesn't matter. I know you didn't mean it. I mean, no one could say I'm stupid when I bagged a looker like you for my wife."

Zoe's smile widened. "Shut up."

"Will you let me look after you?"

Zoe hesitated and then nodded before she wrapped her arms around Max's shoulders.

Moving forward and half standing, Max pulled Zoe into his arms and hugged her tightly until a small person appeared and tried to pull him towards the enclosure. "Look, there's a baby elephant! QUICK MAX!"

"Alright, alright! Calm down!" Max picked Ruby up and sat her on his shoulders so she could see better as he walked back to the enclosure, leaving Zoe to sit back down with a smile.

"Do you like babies, Princess?"

"…Well, Ella has a baby brother and he is nice. He laughs at my funny faces."

Max smiled and then held tighter to Ruby's ankles as she began squirming as the baby elephant came out.


	22. Pregnant

Max couldn't focus on the television in front of him because he was desperate to talk to Zoe. First Robyn had insisted that they should all have dinner out, and then when they arrived home Ruby's arm was hurting and she'd refused to go to bed, so now here they were watching her favourite movie. Max sat with his arms folded watching Zoe, Dylan sat reading a book, and Ruby and Zoe sat curled together on the other couch focused on the film.

Zoe could feel Max's eyes on her, and she knew why, but every time she thought of what she knew he was going to say, her heart began to beat faster and her hands begin to sweat.

When Max gave another loud sigh and shifted in his seat, earning a glare from Dylan as Dervla woke, Zoe finally glanced towards her husband. His eyes were still on her, pleading for something that she didn't want to think about. Finally, aware he was about to speak, she mouthed to him _In my bag._

Max frowned and stood up, ruffling Ruby's hair as he passed them and the girl glanced towards him.

"Where are you going? You'll miss the best bit."

"Toilet. And I've seen the best bit hundreds of times, young lady."

Ruby smiled and rested her head back against Zoe, pulling the blanket that covered them a little closer.

Max slipped into the bedroom and went straight for Zoe's bag where it rested on the edge of the bed. Still frowning, he opened it but was unsure what he was looking for. The only thing he didn't remember seeing before was a folded envelope, so he pulled from the bag, straightened it and then he lifted the flap to reveal what was inside.

…

When the movie finished and Max still hadn't returned, Zoe asked Ruby to go and brush her teeth, before she entered the main bedroom hesitantly. Max was sat on the edge of the bed with the envelope open; it's contents in his hands.

"Max-" Zoe began in a wary tone.

When he looked up, he had tears in his eyes. "Say it."

"Say what?" Zoe asked, though she knew what he wanted from her.

"Zoe." Max pleaded.

Slowly, she made her way towards her husband and stood in front of him. She could feel herself shaking and felt more vulnerable in that moment than she'd ever felt before. "I'm pregnant."

Max nodded, looking up at her with a smile. "We're going to have a baby."

Zoe knew they wouldn't, she knew it would never last that long, she knew her body wouldn't be able to do it, but the look on Max's face made her chest tighten with love, and all she could do was nod.

One hand still clasping the ultrasound and letter, Max wrapped his arms around Zoe and she pulled his head against her middle, holding him tightly to her as, just for a moment, she let herself believe it might happen. It might be okay.

…

"Teeth brushed?"

Ruby showed her teeth.

"Alright, don't blind a man! Those are sparkly!" Max pulled Ruby into his arms and walked towards her bedroom. "Arm feeling okay now?"

Ruby nodded, resting her head on Max's shoulder. "Today was my favourite day ever."

"You know what? Mine too." Max rested Ruby on her bed and pulled the covers up around her chin before dropping a kiss to her head. "Goodnight."

Ruby smiled and hugged her toy elephant tighter as her eyes drifted shut.

Max watched her for a while before he switched off the light and pulled her door until it was only slightly ajar. He then walked through to the lounge and sat on the blanket Zoe and Ruby had been using. "Dylan, my lovely friend."

Dylan looked up from his book with raised eyebrows. "What do you want? And where's Zoe?"

"Washing her hair, because apparently she thinks she can still smell Rhino. I need a favour. A big one."

* * *

Zoe's eyelids fluttered when Max climbed into bed a couple of hours later, and she let out a happy sigh when his arms wrapped around her. She was about to fall asleep again when he kissed the back of her neck. "Zo."

"Mm?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then trust me when I say that it's going to be okay. Last time you were on your own, but this time you have me and I will look after you. No matter what happens, I'm going to be right by your side, and no matter what happens, I will make it okay."

Zoe rolled over to face Max and studied his eyes for a long time before she finally asked quietly, "You promise?"

"Yeah." Max whispered back.

Zoe nodded, tears glistening in her eyes as she moved forward to capture Max's lips. When they finally parted, she wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly.

When she woke several hours later, Max's arms were still holding her tightly, protectively, and once more she let herself think that maybe it would be okay.


	23. Baked Beans

The smell of something cooking soon hit her nostrils, and Zoe was surprised to find that she was hungry. Very hungry. She untangled herself from Max and pulled on her dressing gown before making her way to the kitchen.

"What are you making?"

Dylan glanced around. "I didn't wake you up, did I? I'm cooking Dervla some sausages, it's her birthday."

"Did you wake me up by cooking your dog some birthday sausages at half past 6 in the morning? Seems a bit unlikely." Zoe reached out to take one of the cooked sausages, but Dylan battered her hand away.

"If you want some, I'll cook you some in a minute."

Zoe sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. "How is your boat?"

"Not too much damage, but I'm getting the roof replaced because it was leaking. Max said it would be okay if I stay a few more days. I thought perhaps- Zoe!" When Dylan turned around to tell her his idea, he found that she'd eaten half the baked beans he'd just plated up for Dervla.

"Sorry." Zoe mumbled through a mouthful of food. "I'm starving."

"Well, no, you're not actually are you? If you were really starving you'd-"

"Okay! I'm very hungry! What was your idea?"

"Do I have to watch you or can I continue cooking?"

Zoe waved him away, but when his back turned she finished off the beans as he told her of his idea.

By the time Dylan left for work, Zoe and Dervla were fast asleep on the sofa, bellies full and warm.

* * *

"Wake up."

Max grumbled as someone rubbed his chest, but when he tried to roll onto his side, he found he couldn't move. His eyes flew open to find Zoe straddling him with a smile on her face, which was soon mirrored on Max's. "Good Morning."

"Morning." Zoe continued to rub her hands on Max's chest.

"Is there something you wanted?"

Zoe smiled and tilted her head to the side. "Maybe."

Max nodded, his smile widening to a grin. "Is the bedroom door locked?"

"It is."

"Well then, what did you have in mind, Dr Hanna?"

"I thought maybe it could start off something like this…" Zoe reached her hand between them into Max's boxer shorts and his eyes flickered shut again.

* * *

"Blimey!"

"Can you stop saying that!" Zoe cried, exasperated as she pulled on a dress.

"It was just…blimey."

"Max!" Zoe threw his shirt at him and turned back to the mirror. "Get dressed! Ruby is going to be up in a minute."

"I'm not sure I can move. My legs have sort of…jellified."

As Zoe turned to yell at him again, Max's arms suddenly wrapped themselves around Zoe's waist as he looked at her in mirror. "Blimey!"

Zoe elbowed him in the stomach. "Do my zip up. Do you think this dress is too tight?"

Max did up the zip and then looked Zoe up and down, smiling at the slight tightness across her middle.

"Can you please stop grinning like an idiot and answer my question?"

"That's our baby."

Zoe sighed and began flicking through the other dresses in the wardrobe. "I don't want to talk about that today."

"With me, or with other people? Because-" Max sat on the edge of the bed to pull his socks on.

"No. You can't tell people. Max, if you do-"

"I won't!" Max pulled her towards him and turned her around so she was looking down at him. "I just want to say hello."

Zoe sighed as Max talked softly to her middle and then dropped a kiss to it, but it did calm her, and Max silently noticed her relaxed posture as he stood up. "Right, pancakes for breakfast?"

"I'm not sure I can eat anything. Just the thought of having to go to lunch with your mother is making me feel sick."

"Nice. I'll make you something plain, then. Toast? Eggs? Crumpets?"

Zoe thought of the breakfast she'd already eaten earlier and was surprised to find her stomach grumbled once more. "…Well, I could go some baked beans."

"Baked beans it is!" Max pulled open the door and walked from the room whistling to himself.

Sighing once more, Zoe gazed at herself in the mirror, turning side to side to check how she looked in her dress before she smoothed her hands over her middle.


	24. Garlic Bread

Ruby tried everything she could think of to get out of seeing Greta. She asked, she cried, she said she felt sick and she said her arm hurt, but she still ended up in the car on the way to the restaurant. When she pretended her legs didn't work, Max just picked her up to carry her inside. Ruby hated Greta- the first time they'd me, Greta had pulled her from Zoe's safe arms, and the second time they'd met she'd overheard Greta telling a friend that Ruby wasn't really Max and Zoe's daughter, so she was hoping the girl wouldn't call her grandmother. Though Ruby hadn't told anyone about this, she still thought of it every day.

In the doorway of the restaurant, Max reached out for Zoe's hand to stop her walking and she turned to look at him sullenly.

"Just remember that nothing she says matters, Zo. Our family is the only thing that's important. You, Ruby, Me and…just let whatever she says wash over you."

"Easier said than done. Are you okay now, Rubes?" Zoe rubbed her daughter's leg, but Ruby just buried her face further into Max's coat, unwilling to move away in case they made her walk.

Robyn jumped up when she saw her brother walking in. Ten more minutes alone with Greta might just have killed her. "You're late."

"Yeah, sorry. We forgot Ruby's medicine. Lovely to see you, mum." Max leant forward to kiss Greta's cheek, and she gave him a smile before looking at Ruby.

"Isn't she a little old to be carried places?"

Stepping between her daughter and her mother-in-law, Zoe gave Greta a smile. "How are you? You look lovely!"

"I'm good, thank you. You look lovely, as well. Is that a new dress? It can be so difficult to find appropriate clothes at our age that fit well."

Zoe gave a polite smile before she sat down next to Max, where he was trying and failing to get Ruby to let go of him so she could sit in her own chair.

Reaching out, Zoe rubbed Max's knee. "Just leave her there, Max. If we have to inflict Greta on her, the least we can do is hug her while we do it." Zoe mumbled to him as Greta began ordering drinks.

Max grinned and dropped a kiss to Ruby's hair.

* * *

"She doesn't like eating in public, so can you drop it please?" Max muttered to Greta an hour later as she complained that Ruby was only nibbling on garlic bread.

"A normal child would have had a full meal at her age."

"What is a normal child? Someone who has had parent's his or her whole life? She hasn't had anyone to show her how to do any of these things, but she's old enough to be aware that she's behind her peers and she doesn't need you to make her feel even more self conscious!"

"But-" Greta began.

"Better?" Max asked, interrupting her again to smile as Zoe and Ruby returned from the bathroom.

Ruby nodded and returned to sit in his lap, glancing at Greta before she began nibbling the garlic bread again. It was her favourite, because Max had cooked some the first night she was at their apartment, and she still remembered the happy feeling it brought her.

They stayed eating in silence again until the waiter appeared to clear their plates and ask them if they wanted a dessert.

"Not for me, thanks." Greta smiled at him. "And I don't imagine you'll be having any, Zoe. You wouldn't want that dress to get any tighter!"

"I'm just going to the bathroom." Zoe pushed herself to her feet.

"But you just went." Greta smiled up at her.

"Small bladder." Zoe gave a tight smile and stalked away.

* * *

A few minutes later, Max knocked hesitantly on the bathroom door, and when he got no response, he pushed it open to find only one stall occupied. "You're not stuck in a toilet cubicle again, are you?"

"You really think now is the time to joke?"

Max sighed and took a step towards the cubicle. "No, but it's hard to have a serious conversation through a toilet door."

Zoe stood and pushed open the door, walking out reluctantly. "Why does she have to do this every time?"

"She's just intimidated by you."

"Intimidated by me? The fat woman with terrible dress sense who apparently does nothing but work and always neglects her precious son. I need to go."

"Zoe-" Max reached out to her, but she pushed him away with a force that surprised him.

"Don't. I need to go."

Max watched with a sigh as Zoe marched from the bathroom.

* * *

"Is she okay?" Greta looked up with a smile.

"Ah, no. She's not been well for a couple of days. A virus, I think. She's taken herself home and I should really head after her in case she needs something. Robyn, I don't suppose you could look after Ruby for a couple of hours? She's desperate to get her nails painted pink like yours."

Robyn smiled down at her niece who now sat on her lap. "It would be a pleasure. How about we go now?" Ruby nodded enthusiastically and jumped up to grab her coat. She gave Max a fierce hug, glanced at Greta and then rushed after Robyn.

"…Right, I'd better be off." Max picked up his own coat.

"I could have looked after her for you, Max."

"Really? Because I'm not sure you'd know how to."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Greta stood, scraping her chair back.

"Nothing. I need to go."

* * *

Max was walking home with a quick pace, but it slowed as he passed the hospital and spotted Zoe's car in its usual park. Sighing his wife's name, Max turned to walk into the hospital instead.

Lofty grinned when he saw Max. "I told Robyn lunch with your mum would end up with at least one person in hospital. How was it?"

"Worse than last years by a mile. Has Zoe been in?"

"I haven't seen her, but I've only just started. Isn't she supposed to have the next fortnight off?"

"Yep." Max sighed.

…

Zoe went straight to work after she left the restaurant, to prove Greta right or to prove to herself that she was an important person she wasn't sure, but as soon as she arrived she regretted it. The place was bursting at the seams and Connie had just assumed someone had called in Zoe to help and immediately directed her to resus, not listening to the attempts Zoe made to explain her presence.

…

"Have you seen Dr Hanna, mate?" Max stopped another porter as he passed him in the corridor.

"Resus, I think."

Max gave a sigh. "Thanks."

He made his way towards resus and stopped outside, scanning the room through the window to see if his wife was inside. There was only one patient, Max noticed she was pregnant with dismay, but no Zoe. He looked for her for another 20 minutes before it occurred to him that she might have gone to his office.

Quickening his pace, Max reached his office a few minutes later and pushed open the door to find Zoe sat in his chair, her face in her hands. "…Zo?"

Zoe lifted her head and then rushed towards her husband, hugging him tightly as she buried her face in his coat as their daughter had done a couple of hours ago. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

"No, it's not. I came here to prove to myself that I'm okay, but I'm not am I? I want to talk about it." Zoe whispered the last sentence as she looked up at Max warily.

"Talk about what?" Max asked softly.

Zoe hesitated again before she reached out to take Max's hand to rest it on her middle. "I want to talk about our baby."


	25. Excited

A few minutes later, Zoe was sitting in the chair facing Max, who sat on the edge of the table. He was waiting silently for her to begin, his eyes focused on their hands that were linked before them.

"When I…" Zoe began, and then drew in a deep breath.

Max glanced up to find her watching him, and he offered a gentle smile.

"When I was a little girl, I used to imagine that when I was older I would have everything I wanted. I'd have the job, the husband, the house, the friends, the children…and when I found out I was pregnant the first time, I finally thought I would get it all. Except Nick didn't want anyone to know, he said it would compromise his position with the staff…but those staff were the only friends I had, so when I got sick no one knew about it. I suppose that made it easier in a way, because after Thomas died…we wanted to call him Thomas, no one was feeling sorry for me, so I could just pretend it hadn't happened all day and then go home and spend time with Nick. Then when he left, I was all alone with the body that had…betrayed me, and my guilt and sadness."

"I won't leave you, Zoe." Max offered softly.

"I know, and that somehow makes it worse. That this time, my body might not just let me down, but let you down too, and I couldn't bare that. So I thought if you didn't know, if no one knew, then I could just do what I did last time and just deal with it myself. I suppose I never thought about how you might feel not knowing."

Max drew Zoe's hands to his mouth and dropped a kiss to them as a tear fell down her cheek.

"…But when I saw your face, I realised this is what I needed last time. I needed to see someone happy, and if something bad happens, I need someone to share it with. I needed to be strong last time, but this time, I don't need to be, because I have you. Since I've known you, the friends that I was losing one by one have all come back because I'm…happier. I'm me again. And that's because of you, Max." Zoe finally glanced up at Max and gave him a fragile smile. "I'm not saying I won't try to run, or want to hide things from you, but I'm going to really, really try."

Max smiled back and let go of one of her hands to reach out and wipe a tear from her cheek. "About what happened last time, I have an idea."

"I don't-" Zoe began.

"Do you trust me?"

Zoe nodded.

"Ok, well, I heard Dylan saying a patient of his who has an at risk pregnancy is being visited here by some big shot in London, and I thought maybe you'd like to go and see him?"

"We'd never get an appointment, Max."

"We already have. I called in a favour yesterday. We have an appointment at 4, if you want to go. In the conference room, so no one else has to know until you want them to."

Zoe smiled again, this time with more confident. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd probably have turned into Connie years ago."

"Excuse me! I'll have you know that I may be emotional, but I've never been heartless! And just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean-""

Max grinned. "Say it again."

"What, heartless?" Zoe asked with a teasing smile, the tears now drying on her cheeks in streaks.

"Alright, cheeky. You stay here and I'll go and find you some chocolate."

Zoe nodded and watched Max until he shut the door, and then rested back with a sigh. She felt so much lighter now. Perhaps it was true that a problem shared was a problem halved.

* * *

"Where's Ruby?" As they walked towards Zoe's car at about 6 that evening, Zoe suddenly realised she hadn't seen her daughter since lunch.

"You've only just noticed? Robyn took her to get her nails done for tomorrow, and then they went to the movies, I think."

Zoe gave a relieved sigh. "I think I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on at the moment."

"And why is that?"

"If you're expecting me to say baby brain you can forget it, Mr Walker. Can you drive, please?"

"With pleasure." Max took the keys from her and Zoe sat in the passenger seat with a sigh.

"I'm going to have to talk to Connie and sort out cover, and-"

"No, you're not. I'll sort it. You just enjoy your fortnight off, and by the time you go back to work it will all be dealt with."

Zoe turned her head to look at the side and finally gave Max a smile, reaching out to pull him closer. "I love you."

"Enough to tell me what Lofty has planned for my birthday tomorrow?"

"It's your birthday tomorrow?! See, I told you I'm forgetting things at the moment. I haven't even got you a present."

Max grinned and pulled his seatbelt on. "Fine, don't tell me."

...

They were stuck at a traffic light a few minutes later when Max looked towards Zoe hesitantly. "When do you want to tell Ruby?"

Zoe sighed and turned to him. "…Maybe in a couple of days so she can get used to it before she goes back to school?"

Max nodded. "You'd better put that away, then." He motioned to the scan she'd held tightly in her hand since the doctor had passed it to her.

Zoe nodded and gazed down at it, stroking her thumb across the picture.

"Remind me again how many weeks you are."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Are you going to ask me this every day? 12."

"You know what that means, don't you?"

"It means that the baby is looking more human and less like his or her daddy."

"Oh, very funny. It means that you must have conceived just after Ruby started at school."

"Is that why you went all quiet in there? Were you trying to work out when you did your bit?"

"Well…that and the fact I was trying not to cry and embarrass myself in front of the big shot doctor."

"Which one? Me or Doctor Williams?"

Max smiled again. "Very funny."

"…I think I'm excited, Max." Zoe looked down at her abdomen and once more ran her hand over it.

Max's smile softened and he glanced at her. "Good."


	26. Midnight

A couple of hours later Zoe found herself relaxing in Max's arms.

When they'd arrived home, Ruby was torn between exhaustion after a long day and excitement for what was to come tomorrow, but eventually the exhaustion had won out and she'd fallen asleep half way through dinner. Max had insisted on cooking everything from scratch, and then he'd insisted that Zoe stay and finish eating while he put Ruby to bed. Once she'd finished eating, Zoe had attempted to clear up, but once more Max ushered her from the room, arming her with the TV remote and a list of which movies were on.

Now she was reclined against Max's chest as he relaxed against the arm of the couch. Some of her was focused on the movie in front of them, but most of her was focused on her middle. Her t-shirt pulled up a little, and Max's fingers were drawing absent patterns on her abdomen that were making her skin tickle. Every so often he would stop, usually at an important moment in the movie, and lay his warm hand flat against her skin. That was her favourite, she decided. With his hand there, she knew she was safe, and that their baby was safe, too. Their baby.

"Max?"

"Mmm?" He dropped a kiss to Zoe's hair.

As Zoe tilted her head back to talk to Max, the front door opened and shut and Dervla ran into the room. Aware Dylan would only be but a few steps away, Zoe pushed Max's hand from her middle in a panic and pulled down her top.

"Evening." Dylan walked in a moment later and flopped down on the other couch, exhausted.

"How was your shift?" Zoe pushed herself up, aware of Max sighing behind her.

"Busy. I meant to get some dinner on the way home, but my legs didn't much like the idea."

"You can have what we had, Max made plenty. I'll go and get you some." Zoe jumped up and left the room.

Dylan looked at Max with raised eyebrows. "Any progress?"

"A bit, I suppose." Max offered noncommittally. In truth, he had thought they'd made a lot of progress until Dylan arrived. The instant the front door opened, Max had almost felt Zoe slip away from him again.

The men watched the movie in silence for a few minutes until Zoe returned, a plate of food for Dylan. "I fed Dervla."

"You made this, Max?" Dylan asked, looking down at the roast dinner on his lap.

"I'm a man of many talents, Dr Keogh." Max replied, watching with a frown as Zoe disappeared from the room again before returning with a blanket.

* * *

Zoe had felt herself tense when Dylan arrived back. She didn't want him knowing, not yet. She wanted Ruby to be the first other person to know. So she'd pushed Max's hand away and felt his shoulders sag. She'd left the room to try and collect herself, trying to breath out all the nervousness and relax herself again. She'd told Max she would work on not shutting him out, but when she was anxious, she struggled to allow herself into her own thoughts, let alone anyone else.

When she returned to the room with Dylan's dinner, she suddenly realised what would relax her, and it was the thing only minutes earlier she'd put a stop to.

Leaving the room to get a blanket, Zoe then returned to where she'd been with Max and rested the blanket over herself. It was thick and warm, and she knew she'd chosen the right thing to do as soon as she rested back against Max's chest. Reaching for his hand, she drew it under the blanket and rested it once more on her bare abdomen, resting her own hand on top of it.

When Max heard Zoe give a happy sigh and relax against him, a smile pulled at his lips. When Dylan glanced at him, Max was sure he saw an almost smile on his lips as well.

* * *

"Daddy, wake up." Ruby shook Max's arm again as she whispered loudly into his ear.

Max frowned and lifted a hand to his face, rubbing it as he opened his eyes. "Mmm?"

"Look what time it is."

Max squinted at the clock. "It's midnight, and you should be in bed."

In the darkness, Ruby shook her head. "Midnight means is your birthday, and I want to give you a present."

Max rubbed his face again, wondering for a moment whether he should send her back to bed or not, but finally he pushed himself up into a sitting position and switched on his bedside lamp.

Grinning, Ruby clamoured onto the bed and Zoe gave a grumble in her sleep. "I got you this." Ruby said in another loud whisper, holding something out to him.

"What is it?" Max asked with a smile.

"I can't tell you, silly! You're supposed to open it."

Max began to peel off the sticky tape, and Ruby watched him intently. Slowly, he pulled out a white t-shirt and a moment later Ruby's face appeared beside it with a grin. "I drew it, and then Aunty Robyn got it made. Do you like it?"

On the front of the t-shirt was a drawing she'd done of herself and Max holding hands, and underneath, written in Ruby's careful, childish writing, was _I love my daddy._

"…you know what? I think this is the best present anyone has ever given me. It's perfect."

Ruby smiled proudly. "Will you wear it for our photo tomorrow?"

"It would be an honour. Thank you." Max pulled Ruby to him and hugged her fiercely. "I love you too, Princess."


	27. Chasing Cars

Zoe woke with a frown and was unable to work out what had woken her. Turning her head to the side to see if Max was still in bed, she suddenly saw the red numbers of the clock and woke up fully. She'd meant to get up early and make Max breakfast in bed. Swearing softly to herself, Zoe jumped out of bed and rushed to the kitchen, slowing when she saw that Max was already in the middle of making breakfast.

Ruby was stood on a chair next to Max so she could see what he was doing, and chatting loudly neither of them noticed Zoe's entrance.

"Maybe we could put chocolate chips in them?" Ruby asked hopefully as Max poured the liquid into the dry pancake mix.

"Have you got any chocolate chips?" Max asked passing her the bowl so she could mix it.

"No, but mummy always has chocolate somewhere." Ruby stuck out her tongue as she focused on mixing as Max had showed her.

"She might, but you remember a few weeks ago when we ate her last chocolate bar?"

Ruby giggled at the memory and looked up at Max with a mock frown. "Who ate my chocolate?! I have had a very long day, and I just wanted to come home and eat some chocolate."

Max laughed, taking the bowl back from Ruby, and then both spun around as Zoe cleared her throat.

"Having fun?"

Ruby glanced at Max, unsure if Zoe had heard them.

"Yes thanks, sleepy. Got something you want to say to me?"

"Like what?" Zoe asked, tasting the mixture with her pinkie finger.

"It's a very, very special day today, and usually on this sort of day there's something you're supposed to say."

"…Nope, I don't know what you're talking about. I'll make these, you need to go and sort out your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?" Max asked with a smile, tilting his head. Ruby had tied his hair up in little bunches all over his head and decorated it with sparkly hairspray.

"You really want to go out like that?"

"What's wrong with it?" Ruby asked, snuggling into Max's side to hide her grin as she added, "I was going to do your hair, too."

Zoe raised her eyebrows and looked between them for a moment before she offered, "why don't you two go and get dressed and I will sort out breakfast?"

"Come on then, princess. We know when we're not wanted." Max lifted Ruby from the chair and then followed her towards the bedrooms.

"Max?" Zoe called after him.

He turned with a slow smile. "Zoe."

"I haven't forgotten our anniversary again, have I?"

Max rolled his eyes and walked from the room. "Very funny, Hanna."

"Who is Hanna?" Ruby enquired, poking her head around the doorway.

"It's the evil twin your mummy has. She brings her out when she's being cheeky."

"Can I have an evil twin, too?"

"I thought you were the evil twin?!"

As Max exclaimed, Ruby chased him from the room, and their laughter filtered back to Zoe as she made breakfast.

* * *

"Still nothing?" Max asked a few minutes later, wrapping his arms around Zoe from behind before slipping his hands under her t-shirt.

Zoe smiled and turned her head to kiss him gently. "Happy birthday. From both of us."

Max's smile widened and his hands began drawing patterns on her middle again. "Do I get a present?"

"Not yet."

"When?"

"The G rated one you can have after breakfast."

"Does that mean there's going to be an M rated one, too?"

"If you play your cards right."

Max grinned again and returned to Ruby's bedroom to help her with her dress.

* * *

Zoe sighed as she surveyed herself in the mirror a short time later. "I look frumpy." She mumbled to Max before she began to put on her lipstick.

"You look fine." Max replied, distracted as he tried to brush the sparkles from his hair.

Zoe stopped and looked to him. "Fine? Oh god, it must be bad. You've never said fine before. Maybe I should change?"

Max smiled and looked at his wife in the mirror. "I think what happened last time you wore that dress should give you a bit of an idea of how I think you look right now."

"I was thinner then."

"Zo." Max turned her to him. "What is this? One thing you're never unsure of is your body and the spell it seems to hold over everyone."

Zoe smiled at this. "Over you, maybe. It's just…changing. I had to buy a bigger bra last week."

"Mm, I noticed." Max glanced down and Zoe tutted, pushing him away so she could finish her lipstick.

Moving to stand behind her, Max wrapped his arms around Zoe's waist and rested his chin on her shoulder as he watched her finish her make up. "Changes are good, Zoe. Changes mean your body is adapting to look after our baby. And for the record, I think you get more beautiful every day."

Zoe gazed up at Max in the mirror for a moment before turning to capture his lips.

Pulling her closer by her hips, Max's hands slid down to Zoe's thighs and hitched up her dress a little so he could sit her on the bench top next to the sink.

Zoe wrapped her arms around her Max's neck and moaned softly into his kiss.

"Mummy, I've done a poo that looks like a dinosaur, come and look." Ruby suddenly called from the toilet next door.

Max laughed softly as he pulled away, and Zoe rested her forehead on his chest with a smile as she called out. "No thanks. Flush it and then come out and wash your hands."

"Bit of a mood killer." Max offered, making Zoe grin back.

* * *

"Come on then, where is this G rated present?" Max asked as they walked out of the apartment building, each holding one of Ruby's hands.

"Do you want to show him?" Zoe asked Ruby who nodded her head in excitement.

She then let go of her parent's and rushed forward a few steps to stand in front of the car Max had been admiring as they walked out. " **WE GOT YOU A CAR!** "

"You…that's for me?" Max asked, turning to stare at Zoe incredulously.

She nodded, smiling. "I know it's no Kylie, but do you like it? And before you worry about the expense, I won it in that hospital raffle."

"Because she brought all the tickets." Ruby offered with a grin.

"You weren't supposed to tell him that!" Zoe ruffled Ruby's hair as Max looked the car over.

"This…is…ridiculously cool." He finally concluded, making Ruby giggle as he enveloped them into a tight hug.


	28. Adopted

**a/n- so glad everyone is enjoying this story. Thank you so much for the reviews to those I can't thank personally. Also, I've just opened a twitter account if you want to follow me- georgygirl17 :)**

* * *

Forty minutes later they were stood in the photographer's studio waiting for him to set up. Ruby was sat down drawing, but Zoe was pacing and every so often glancing at herself in one of the many long mirrors.

"Zoe." Max finally walked forward and rested his hands on her arms to stop her. "Stop it."

"Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe we could come back another day. Or maybe wait until next year." Zoe pleaded.

"Look in the mirror." Max turned her slowly to face one of the mirrors.

"No. No! I don't want to." Zoe turned her head to the side so she couldn't see.

Max raised his hands to turn her to face the mirror. "What do you see?"

"A frumpy middle aged woman who is in a dress one size too small."

"You know what I see? I see the eyes that show all the emotions that you won't let out, the lips that are the softest I've ever kissed and the smile that makes me feel like the happiest man in the world. Then there are the shoulders that no matter what the temperature is always seem to be warm when I kiss them, and the collarbones that you absently scratch when you're nervous." Max's hands moved slowly down her sides as he described just what he loved about every part of her body, and Zoe found herself mesmerised. "And this is the middle that has our baby inside, keeping it safe, and it's the middle that our daughter hides her face against when she's crying." Finally his hands slipped around behind her and rested on her bum. "And I think every one knows what I think of this bit."

Zoe finally smiled, reaching up a hand to pull Max's head forward so she could reach his lips. "Thank you."

"You know I would do literally anything to touch your bum, right?"

Zoe's smile widened into a grin and she pushed Max away before returning to Ruby. "Are you ready?"

Ruby nodded and put down her drawing pad. "I think you look beautiful too, Mama. Will I look like you one day?"

Zoe glanced up at Max, but he was in the middle of describing to the photographer exactly what Ruby wanted. "…You remember when I met you?"

Ruby nodded. "I was two, and Daddy says I was very cheeky."

"Well, normally a birth mummy carries a baby in her tummy and when the baby is born, she looks after her, but your birth mummy…she wasn't very well, so she asked for someone else to look after you…"

Ruby nodded, for she'd heard this story before. "And when you heard, you said I want to look after Ruby forever!"

Zoe smiled and put a hand to Ruby's face. "I did. But because I didn't carry you, it means you won't look like me, you will look like your birth mummy."

"What does she look like?"

"I don't know, sweetheart."

"…If one day you are the birth mummy of another little girl, will she look like you?"

"She might do. Or she might look like Max, or maybe neither of us. But you know what? You will always be our first child, and that makes you very special. And it means you will always be Max's little Princess Ruby, even if you end up taller than him."

Ruby smiled at the idea of being taller than Max before she wriggled forward in her chair to hug Zoe. "I'm not scared you will want to throw me away anymore."

Zoe tightened her hug. "Good."

"Ready?" The photographer hovered beside them a moment later.

Zoe pulled away from Ruby and gave her a smile before standing to take a deep breath.

* * *

"At first I wanted some just like my friend has, but they all look serious, and have you ever tried to make Daddy look serious?!" Ruby asked Robyn half an hour later as she skipped beside her. Robyn had met them outside the studio with the intention of making sure they got to the party on time.

Behind them, Max and Zoe walked at a slower pace towards the car. "...Okay?" Max finally asked.

Zoe glanced up at him and gave an apologetic smile. "Yeah."

Max put his arm around her waist and dropped a kiss to her shoulder. "Warm, just like I said."

Zoe just gave a sigh in return and pulled Max's arm around herself further so she could grip his hand.

"Tell me, Zo. No secrets, remember?" Max whispered in his wife's ear.

Before she could reply, Robyn suddenly called out, "Max! Why don't we go and check out that place where we used to go bowling? It's only around the corner."

"I thought you wanted to get lunch?"

"I do, but I want to show Ruby this place."

"Fiiiiine. Do you want to wait in the car?" He asked Zoe, but she shook her head when Robyn shot her a look. "Wait. This isn't a birthday thing, is it? A party? A bowling party?!"

Zoe laughed at Max's sudden enthusiasm. "How old are you?"

"Old enough to knock up a consultant." Max grinned at her, wriggling his eyebrows.

Rolling her eyes, Zoe elbowed him gently and then walked quicker to catch up with Robyn and Ruby.

* * *

"Here? Really? A party here? How old is this place?" Max asked as they approached a large, apparently run down building.

"No one said there was a party." Robyn supplied, smirking when Max looked almost disappointed. "Try the door and see if we can still get inside."

Ruby rushed ahead of Max, trying the handle, but it didn't move an inch until Max's hand rested over hers and managed to open it. They stepped in, squinting in the darkness until a light suddenly flicked on.

"SURPRISE!"

Ruby stumbled back into Max, shocked by both the amount of people, how loud they were and how bright it had suddenly become. She clung to Max's leg as tall people she didn't recognise descended on her father for a hug or a handshake, leaving her trapped. She peered behind him, hoping Zoe was still there, but she couldn't see her anywhere. She did, however, spot Dylan and Dervla waiting to cross the road towards them.

Slipping between Max's legs, Ruby ran out of the hall and waved at Dervla, running towards the busy road. Dervla always made her feel better.


	29. Fun and Games

When Dylan saw what was going on, he called out to her, but she couldn't hear him over the noise of the traffic. Ruby's eyes were firmly on Dervla and Dylan was just contemplating whether he'd risk letting the dog off the leash to run for Ruby when a woman suddenly appeared and grabbed the girl.

Ruby looked up at the woman who had taken hold of her with wide eyes as she frowned down at her. "What do you think you're doing? You could have been killed, you silly, silly girl!"

A moment later, a breathless Zoe appeared behind them. "Ruby! What were you thinking?! You know you're not supposed to cross a road without an adult!"

Ruby looked up at her mother and burst into tears. "I wasn't going to! I was just going to wait for Dervla!"

"Dervla?" The woman asked, finally letting go of the Ruby, who raced to Zoe and wrapped her arms around her.

Zoe finally focused on the woman in front of her and was dismayed to find it was Greta.

"Zoe, I am so sorry. Is she okay?" Dylan asked as he approached, and Ruby wriggled away from her mother's hand to run and hug Dervla as she continued to cry.

Zoe looked after Ruby silently for a moment. She wanted to comfort her and ached to stop her tears, but she needed to know she couldn't run off. Max was usually the one who did this, and Zoe wasn't quite sure what to do. "She's fine."

Dylan looked between Zoe and Greta before looking down at Ruby. "Right, well, I'll take her inside and find Max."

Zoe nodded. "Thanks, Dylan." She watched in silence as he tried to persuade Ruby to come with him and then picked her up to carry her inside before Zoe finally turned back to the woman in front of her.

"I think it's very irresponsible to let your daughter go running off like that." Greta finally offered into the silence.

"You know what I think is irresponsible? Telling a 5 year old that you have no interest in being her grandmother because she's adopted!" Zoe snapped.

"I beg your pardon? Don't speak to me like that!" Greta put a shocked hand to her chest.

"She told me, Greta. The first time she only overheard you telling someone, but to say it to her face when you know how much she struggles with the idea that we're not her 'real' parents? That is a low blow, even for you. I'm used to your snide remarks against me, but how DARE you take out your own issues on my daughter?"

"She's not your daughter, though, is she? Max has always had plans for a proper family, and-"

"Ruby is more like family to Max and I than you will ever be. I haven't told Max what you said, because I don't want to upset him, but rest assured if you come into this party right now, and if you keep insisting on upsetting my daughter, I will tell him. You'd lose him for good." Zoe spoke in a low voice, and once she'd finished she turned on her heel and made her way back into the building.

* * *

"This is ridiculously cool, Lofty. How did you manage it?!" Max looked around the large room, filled with all the things he loved. There was bowling, pinball machines, a DJ section, a food section, a bar and he even spotted an Xbox.

"A mate of mine brought this place a couple of years ago and he's been setting it up. Zoe said it had to be kid friendly, and I figured what's more kid friendly than Max's hobbies."

"Gee, thanks mate." Max reached out and patted Lofty's shoulder.

"Sorry to disturb, but, ah-" Dylan appeared beside them with Ruby still clinging to him and he stood uncomfortably.

"What happened? Where's Zoe?" Max asked as he took pity on Dylan and reached out for Ruby. She moved to her father's arms and hid her face.

"She was going to run across the road by herself to get to Dervla."

"I wasn't! I was just going to wait for her!" Ruby repeated.

Max sighed and twisted himself so Ruby had to look up at him, hair hanging over her tearstained face. "…You promise you weren't going to run across by yourself?"

Ruby nodded.

Max hesitated and then nodded. "Okay, I believe you, but make sure in future you don't go running off without telling me or Zoe first."

Ruby nodded again and rested her head back on his shoulder, still worried about seeing Greta again. When Max squatted down and placed her feet on the ground, she tried to lift herself into his arms again.

"Come on, Rubes. Don't you want to play? Daniel is here, and he said he has a present for you."

Ruby shook her head, still trying to latch onto him again.

"Where's Zoe?" Max asked as he looked up at Dylan.

"Ah, still outside, I think." He was unsure whether he should mention Greta, for he'd seen Zoe's expression and he wasn't quite sure that Greta would get away from the conversation alive.

"Hey Ruby, I've just started a bowling game with Robyn, but I've forgotten how to bowl! I don't suppose you could remind me?" Lofty asked as he moved down to her level.

Ruby glanced at him and then up at Max before she gave a reluctant nod and took Lofty's hand.

Max gave his friend a smile and then headed towards the front door.

* * *

When Greta left, Zoe moved to sit on the steps in front of the building and let out a long sigh. What she would love right now was several days holed up at home with only Max and Ruby, and instead she kept having to deal with things and people.

"Did you know that Lofty has even organised a fairy floss machine?!"

Zoe looked up and smiled at Max as he sat beside her. "Do you like it all?"

"It is amazing. Just like you."

"It was Lofty who organised it, not me."

"Well…Lofty is amazing then, but I somehow don't think he'd appreciate the kiss I was just planning on giving you."

"I suppose you'd better give me the kiss then."

"If you're sure." As Max smiled, his lips brushed Zoe's and she edged closer to capture his lips properly, lifting a hand his face.

"I love you." She whispered to him as their lips parted and their foreheads rested together.

"You know, there's one of those grab machines in there. If you're lucky I might win you a soft toy."

"Now how could I resist an offer like that!" Zoe allowed Max to pull her up and slip his arm around her waist.

"Are you okay?" He now said gently into her ear.

"Perfect." Zoe smiled up at him, but the smile faltered when she rested her head against his shoulder as they entered the hall in front of them.

Max dropped a kiss to her head and then whispered in her ear. "For the record, I quite like you as well."

* * *

A couple of hours later, Zoe sat down and surveyed the room. Ruby was now racing around with the other children and laughing, and everyone else was gathered in small groups to play the games that were set out, all with a smile on their face. She thought back to a few years ago when she'd only had 1 or 2 proper friends, but now she'd class almost everyone in this room as a good friend and this made her smile.

As her eyes flitted over everyone once more, she suddenly realised she couldn't see Max anywhere. Turning slightly, she glanced towards the door, thinking perhaps he'd gone out for some air. Instead, she found him resting against the door watching her.

When Zoe finally looked his way, Max tilted his head to the open door and then motioned for her to follow him as he turned and walked out.

With a frown, Zoe followed him. "What-" She began as she stepped out into the dying afternoon sun.

"I found a cupboard." Max opened the side door with a grin.

"And?" Zoe asked, folding her arms with a smile.

"Come on, for old times sake."

"We had sex in a cupboard about 2 weeks ago, Max."

"What can I say. Time flies when you're having fun. Come on." Max took Zoe's hand and pulled her into the cupboard.

* * *

"Have you seen Max anywhere?" Lofty asked Rita with a frown.

"Not for a while. Why?"

"I was going to start the speeches, but I can't find him anywhere."

"Speeches for a birthday?" Rita asked with a frown as she sipped her wine.

"I need to redeem myself after the speech I gave at the wedding."

"I'll help you look. I think I saw him heading outside a while ago, maybe he's still out there." Rita stood.

* * *

Max and Zoe were in the cupboard a lot longer than he'd planned. Once he'd finally convinced Zoe her dress was too restrictive and needed to come off, Max proceeded to kiss almost everywhere on Zoe's body to remind her how much he loved every single piece of her.

When they heard Lofty call for Max somewhere close by, Zoe was in the middle of wriggling into her dress and batting Max's hands away from the small rounding of her belly that he'd just noticed.

They both froze and looked towards the door, neither remembering if they'd locked it.

"Did you try the toilets?" Rita suddenly asked Lofty.

"No. Good idea!"

As Lofty rushed back inside, Rita walked over the cupboard door and gave it a gentle knock. "Everyone dressed?"

A moment later, Max opened the door with a sheepish grin on his face.

Without a word, Rita pointed down at the small pile of expensive black lace that had somehow made its way over to the door to poke under it.

Max watched Rita disappear inside before he bent to pick up Zoe's underwear and shut the door. "…5 years, and that's the first time we've been caught. Pretty good odds."

Giving a slight smile, Zoe pulled her underwear on and then turned to look at her makeup in the cracked mirror that rested against the wall. "You go out and I'll come inside in a minute."

"I thought I was the one who just came ins-"

"Finish that joke and this is the last time we have sex in a cupboard. "Zoe warned.

"You say that every time."

As Max left, Zoe couldn't stop the smile pulling at her lips. Taking in her flushed cheeks and slightly messy hair, Zoe decided she didn't much mind cupboard dalliances after all.


	30. Guesses

Several hours later and the party was just winding down. Most of the guests had gone home, and only a few close friends were still around talking and playing a game of monopoly.

After her turn, Zoe glanced towards the dance floor where music was still quietly playing and Max was dancing with Ruby in his arms, trying to get her to go to sleep. Ruby had been going to stay over at her friend Daniel's house for the night, but by the time his parents were ready to go home, Ruby was already overtired and had burst into tears, refusing to leave Max on his birthday. He'd been trying for almost an hour now to get her to sleep.

"Are you happy?" Rita suddenly asked Zoe as the others got up to stretch their legs and get another drink.

Glancing at her friend, Zoe gave a smile. "Very."

Rita sighed, and watched Max for a moment. "I wish I had someone like him."

"…You know, I always had plans in my head growing up, and I always had the image of the man I would marry and exactly what he'd be like…and Max isn't anything like that, but I am the happiest I've ever been. So maybe you need to stop clinging on to an idea of a man and just give others a chance."

Rita smiled at her friend. "When did you get so wise?"

"I think perhaps it comes with parenthood."

"I think my parents must have missed that memo."

Zoe laughed and sipped at her drink. "Mine too, actually."

Rita glanced down at the orange juice that Zoe had been sipping all night. Thoughtfully she looked once more at her friend. "Come on then, any secrets you want to spill while the others are gone?"

"Well…"

Rita sat up straighter, hoping for something exciting.

Zoe was saved from thinking of something when Max suddenly approached them with a half asleep Ruby in his arms. "Can you take her for a minute? I need a wee."

Zoe opened her arms and was distracted for the next few moments trying to calm Ruby down as the others returned to the table.

Slumping back into her seat, Rita gave a sigh. Perhaps her hunch was wrong.

"…An hour. An hour I have been trying to do that." Max sighed as he returned a few seconds later to find Ruby asleep in Zoe's arms.

"What can I say? I must have the gift."

Max sat on the arm of Zoe's chair and whispered something into her ear. As the doctor smiled, Rita decided perhaps she'd been right after all.

* * *

When they arrived home late that night, everyone was exhausted. Max put a sleeping Ruby to bed as Zoe locked up and made her way to the bedroom, slipping from her heels before she lay back on the bed, too tired to take her dress off.

A few minutes later Max walked in yawning before he gave a smile at the view in front of him. "Going to sleep like that?"

"Mm-hmm." Zoe replied, keeping her eyes closed.

Max flopped down next to his wife and yawned again. "When did having a night out become so exhausting?"

"Well I know what my excuse is, but yours is probably that you're officially old now."

Smiling, Max rolled onto his side to look down at Zoe. "What's your excuse, then?"

A smile pulling at her lips, Zoe opened her eyes to look up at Max. "You know."

"Say it and I'll help you get undressed."

Zoe bit her lip for a moment and then replied, "My excuse is that I'm pregnant."

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that." Max's face moved closer to Zoe, and his lips brushed hers as he smiled again.

"I said I'm pregnant." Zoe smiled up at Max, lifting herself a little to try and connect with his lips, but he moved away ever so slightly.

"Did you just say you're pregnant?"

"Mm-hmm. With your baby." Zoe rested her head back on the bed and bit her lip again.

"Pregnant with my baby, you say?"

Zoe nodded, a grin lifting her face. "Are we going to do this every day for the next 6 months?"

"Probably." Max grinned back and finally let his lips meet Zoe's.

"Did you have a good birthday?" She asked as he pulled her a little closer to his body so he could unzip her dress.

"The best I've ever had."

* * *

When Zoe woke the next morning there was a familiar noise in the room that made her smile. Every Sunday morning, Ruby would wake early and climb into their bed to watch her favourite cartoons while her parents woke up.

When Zoe's eyes flickered open, she found large hazel eyes looking down at her, which were soon accompanied by a wide pink smile. "Hello."

Zoe smiled up at her daughter, reaching a hand up to brush hair from her face. "Good Morning."

"Are you having a baby?"

Zoe's eyes widened and she looked at her daughter with shock. "I…why?"

Ruby pointed to Max, who was still fast asleep but had a hand resting just below Zoe's belly button. "That's where Ella's brother grew, and once her mummy let me touch it and I could feel the baby."

"…Would you like me to have a baby?"

"I didn't want you to, but maybe if you did, I could lend it my princess dresses, and I could teach it to read and I could hug it when it got sad. I got to hold Daddy's friend's baby last night, and everyone said she really liked me."

Still half asleep, Zoe struggled to decide what to say, because this was never how she'd imagined this conversation happening. She looked at Max hopefully, but he was still fast asleep. "…Well, you are very clever, because guess what?"

"What?" Ruby asked with a smile.

"I do have a baby in there."

Ruby's smile widened. "Can I feel it?"

"Not yet. You won't be able to for a few more weeks."

"Then why is Daddy doing that?" Ruby pointed at Max's hand again.

Zoe was torn between the truth and a half-truth, but finally she decided the more Ruby knew, the less likely she was to feel left out. Hopefully. "A long time ago I had another baby. His name was Thomas. But both Thomas and I got very sick and he died when he was only tiny, so now I get worried sometimes that this little baby might get sick, too."

"So Daddy looks after it like he looks after me?"

"Exactly." Zoe smiled at her daughter.

"…I can help look after it too now, if you like."

"I would love that. I think you're going to be a very good big sister."

Ruby blushed with happiness as she moved forward to hug Zoe tightly. "Maybe it could come by Christmas so I can give it presents?"

Zoe smiled and dropped a kiss to Ruby's head, amazed that she'd spent so long worrying about something that hadn't even happened. Ruby had taken it even better than Zoe herself had. "We'll see."

* * *

When Max's eyes flickered open, he found a pair of sparkling hazel eyes looking down at him, accompanied by a little pink smile.

"Mummy's gone to the toilet."

Max frowned, lifting a hand to rub his face. "Did I need to know that?"

"Are you grumpy?"

"No." Max said grumpily.

"You are, I can tell. It's because you had lots to drink yesterday. Daniel says when people have lots to drink, they wake up with a sore head the next day. Have you got a sore head?"

"…A bit." Max finally conceded as he sat up and took a sip from the glass of water by the bed.

"I better look after the baby today, then." Ruby wriggled to the edge of the bed and jumped down.

"Pardon?" Max asked, rubbing his temple.

"Mummy's baby. It's this big," She held out her hands to show him. "And it has to get bigger if it's going to get here by Christmas, so that means mummy has to eat lots. Can I make her a cheese sandwich?"

"…I suppose so." Max said hesitantly, watching as Ruby skipped from the room.

"I think I may be hallucinating." Max said to himself as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"You're not." Zoe supplied as she exited the en suite and took her dressing gown off the hook on the door. "She just asked me out of the blue this morning, so I told her, and I think she's even more excited than you."

Max gave a sleepy smile, pulling Zoe towards him by the tie of her dressing gown. "See, I told you everything would turn out okay if you stopped worrying."

"I suppose you are right sometimes after all."

"I'm not just a handsome face, then?" Max smiled up at his wife.

"…I wouldn't go that far, Walker. I'd say quite good looking at best."

As Zoe leant down to kiss Max, Ruby called out from the kitchen, "Can we go to the library after breakfast so I can get some books about babies?"

"What do I say if she asks where babies come from?" Zoe asked Max, suddenly worried again.

As Max grinned, Ruby suddenly pushed her head around the bedroom door with a frown. "But how did the baby get in your tummy?"

"Don't look at me. I'm just a humble porter. You're the doctor." Max whispered as Zoe looked at him with desperation.


	31. First Day

The rest of the school holiday's seemed to go by too quickly. Max only had the first week off, and the second week Zoe and Ruby spent most of their time inside, outside pouring with rain.

While she was her usual excitable self in the morning, by the afternoon Ruby always seemed to grow tired. Though she insisted she was fine, Max would normally arrive home just after 5 to find her fast asleep or almost that way, and she would sleep through the night. Concerned, Zoe even tried taking her for tests, but they all came back normal and the paediatrician decided she was probably just going through a growth spurt. So, every afternoon at about 4, Zoe would make Ruby's dinner and after she'd eaten, they cuddle on the couch watching a movie or reading a book until Max got home, and then he'd put Ruby to bed.

* * *

"Ruby, don't forget your library bag!" Zoe called out the next Monday as she packed a lunchbox into her daughter's school bag and zipped it shut. When she got no reply, she opened her mouth to call out again, but at that moment, Ruby careered around the doorway with her library bag.

"Can my friends draw things on my cast?"

"If you like, it's all yours. Where's your jacket?"

"Daddy's getting it. Can I say goodbye?"

Zoe rolled her eyes, but gave a slight smile. Ruby had picked up on Max talking to the baby and had taken it on herself as well. "Quickly, or you'll be late."

Putting both hands on her mother's tummy, ruby moved her head closer. "I'm just going to school, but I will talk to you when I get home. We have show and tell today, so I will tell you what everyone brings. I love you."

"Coat on!" Max rushed in and Ruby lifted up her arms, allowing him to put it on her before taking the bag from Zoe's outstretched hand and pulling their daughter towards the door. Somehow, no matter what time they got up, they always seemed to be running late for school.

"Don't I get a goodbye as well?" Zoe called out.

A moment later, Ruby rushed back in and hugged her mother. "Bye."

"I'll see you at work. Nice outfit, by the way. Connie will love it." Max grinned before he shut the door.

Zoe rolled her eyes again, glancing down at her silk nightdress before smiling as she walked towards the bathroom.

* * *

First day back. She could do this. Ruby was excited about her first day back, so she should be as well. Max had managed, though he wouldn't say how, to get her schedule altered so she started at 10 and always finished by 3 so she could pick Ruby up from school.

"Morning, Zoe! Good to have you back!" Noel called out as she made her way to the staffroom.

Zoe gave him a smile and then slipped into the empty room to take a deep breath. "We can do this, baby. We'll be okay."

"Zoe! You're back! Can you feel anything yet?" Robyn knocked Zoe's hand out of the way to she could place it on the doctor's middle.

Zoe tensed beneath her touch, for she was still very protective and didn't want anyone else to touch her. She was about to tell Robyn this when Rita entered with a grin.

"Here she is! I knew there was something you weren't telling me! When Robyn said she had something to tell me, I said it straight away." Rita put her hand to Zoe's middle next to Robyn's.

"Is it moving already?" Lofty rushed in to put a hand on her as well.

Zoe shut her eyes, feeling the old familiar panicking feeling beginning to rise in her, but suddenly the hands were removed as someone stepped in the way.

"Alright, alright. Haven't you lot got work to do?"

As the others grumbled and walked away, Max turned to Zoe who still had her eyes shut tightly. "Deep breath in… deep breath out. "

Zoe placed her hands over Max's warm one to keep it on her middle as she calmed herself. When her eyes finally opened again, Max smiled at her and leant forward to kiss her gently. "That's my girl." He dropped another kiss to her hair before he slipped from the room, leaving Zoe with a relaxed smile.

* * *

At regular intervals during the day Max would bring Zoe food and hover by her side until she'd finished eating, his hand always resting on her middle. In the last couple of weeks, she had begun to look actually properly pregnant and she'd spent most of her time worried about how to answer questions like 'Is this your first?'.

"I've been thinking-" Max rested his bum against Zoe's desk as she bit into the banana he'd brought her.

"Why does that sentence always make me nervous?"

Max smiled down at his wife. "Funny. I've been thinking that we should get your photos with Thomas framed and put them up at home."

Zoe choked on her banana. "What?"

"He happened, Zo, and pretending he didn't isn't helping you. I think if he was still here, we would be best buddies, playing football, and video games and annoying the hell out of you. He's part of out family, even if he isn't here with us."

Zoe gave a slight smile, reaching out for Max's hand again to draw it to her middle, as she did every time she thought of Thomas. "…Ok."

Max leant forward to drop a kiss to Zoe's forehead. "Good. We'll go out together on the weekend and we can pick a lovely frame, and then we will pick the perfect place at home, so he can watch over his siblings."

"I wonder if Nick ever thinks about him."

"If he was mine, I'd think about him every day and I'd talk to him all the time."

Zoe smiled, her eyes drifting shut. "What would you say?"

"I'd tell him all about his sister Ruby, and I'd tell him how much I missed him, and that I'd always be his daddy."

Zoe's eyes flickered open and she looked up into Max's eyes for what felt like hours before she finally managed to say, "You do talk to him, don't you?"

Max nodded, giving a hesitant smile. "You love him, so I love him, too."

Standing, Zoe pulled Max into a tight hug, burying her face into his shirt.

* * *

"Did you have a good day?" Zoe asked Ruby with a smile as she bent down to greet her daughter that afternoon.

Ruby just gave a nod and handed Zoe her bag.

Frowning because Ruby was usually full of chatter, Zoe stood to follow her, but she noticed Ruby's teacher beckoning her. "Rubes, you go and say hello to Ella's mum and I'll be there in a minute."

* * *

"Is everything ok?"

"I'm just a little worried about Ruby. She was her usual self this morning but by this afternoon she had gone very quiet."

Zoe glanced back at her daughter. "She's been like that for the last couple of weeks, but she keeps saying she's okay."

"Well I asked Ella this afternoon if Ruby had mentioned anything to her, and apparently Ruby asked her to draw on her cast, but when Ella touched it, ruby started crying and said it hurt."

Zoe silently cursed herself; unable to believe she has failed to pick up on something another 5 year old had. "Thanks. I'll get it looked at again."

The teacher nodded before reaching out to rub Zoe's arm. "She has come on in leaps and bounds since she started. You're doing a great job."

* * *

When she'd strapped Ruby into the car, Zoe sat beside her and hesitated before finally asking. "How is your arm, Ruby?"

Ruby glanced up guiltily from biscuit she was eating and finally gave a shrug.

"Ella told your teacher that you cried because it was hurting you still."

"…I didn't want to upset you. I'm ok, honest."

Zoe sighed and reached out to tuck some hair behind Ruby's ear. "It won't upset me, Ruby. If you hurt anywhere or if you don't feel okay, you should always tell me so I can make you feel better. That's my job."

Ruby looked down at her cast for a moment and then up at Zoe. "It hurts worse than when I fell off the monkey bars. I thought if I told you, you might decide you didn't want me anymore."

Zoe shut her eyes for a moment, as she did every time Ruby voiced something like this. She sometimes forgot how young Ruby was and how much she'd been through, and when she reassured Zoe that she didn't think she'd be sent away anymore, Zoe chose to believe her because it made her feel better. She sometimes forgot how often Ruby tried to say what she thought people wanted to hear.

"Right, how about we go to see your Uncle Dylan at the hospital, and he can look at your arm again?"

"...Will Daddy be there to look after you?"

"Ruby, I don't need looking after. You don't need to worry about me all the time. I'm the one who is supposed to worry about you!"

When Ruby's lip began to wobble, Zoe reached forward and hugged her daughter fiercely.


	32. No Time Like The Present

**A/N- I've had a few requests for continuations of my completed stories. As this one is almost over, would you like me to write a whole new story once I've finished this, or continue one of my completed fics?**

* * *

"Where's Daddy?" Ruby asked as she sat in ED a short time later.

"Robyn has gone to find him, he won't be long." Zoe reassured her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

"We've got a free cubicle now." Dylan appeared and ushered them from the waiting room, but Ruby shook her head.

"Not until Daddy's here."

"He'll be here any minute and when he sees we're not out here he'll come and find us. I promise." Zoe urged her daughter from the chair, and the girl eventually got up reluctantly, trudging after the two doctors.

* * *

Dylan was in the middle of assessing Ruby and leaning forward to hear her whispered replies when Max finally pulled aside the curtain. Ruby shot from the bed and into his arms, whispering to him that she wanted to go home.

Max glanced towards Zoe and noted that she wiped a few tears away before he looked at Dylan and then back at his daughter. "It's ok. Your Uncle Dylan is just trying to make you feel better."

"But he's hurting me."

"If you promise to let me check you over and take you for an x-ray, I'll let Dervla come and have a sleep over on the weekend?" Dylan offered.

Ruby glanced towards Zoe who gave a nod. "Okay."

* * *

Two hours later, Ruby was curled up to Zoe's side as they both lay on the bed, and Zoe was reading to her as Max sat beside the bed, his fingers absently stroking Zoe's side.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." Dylan pulled aside the curtain so suddenly that they all jumped. "Now, we have the results back, and it looks like there was a partial dislocation which was missed, and-"

"How did you miss it?" Max snapped, but Zoe reached out a hand shush him.

Dylan glanced at Max before continuing. "It wasn't much, but unfortunately it looks like it's trapped a nerve, so we're going to need surgery to get everything back where it needs to be, and she may have to have a metal rod put it to keep everything in place while it heals."

Ruby looked up at Zoe, unsure what Dylan was saying.

"Can you schedule it as soon as possible, Dylan?"

As he nodded and slipped from the cubicle, Zoe looked down at Ruby with a smile. "They're just going to make you sleep for a little while so they can make your wrist feel better."

"…Will you be there while I'm asleep?"

"I can stay right with you the whole time."

"…Okay." Ruby nodded and snuggled back into Zoe's side, wanting her to keep reading.

As she did, Max slipped quietly from the cubicle.

* * *

"Calm down. Calm down!" Robyn put a hand on her brother's arm, but he shrugged it off.

"How can I calm down?! My daughter has had a dislocated wrist for a fortnight and I didn't even notice! She's been in pain and was too scared to tell me! How do you think that makes me feel?!"

"It's not about you or your feelings, Max. Pacing and being angry with yourself or with Dylan is not helping any one, is it?! What will help is going in there and reassuring your daughter that you're not angry with her, and then go and get some of her things, because she'll be transferred upstairs soon."

Max let out a slow breath before finally nodding.

* * *

"I heard we have a- oh." The curtain was pulled aside by the surgeon, but he stopped when he saw Zoe sat on the bed.

When her head lifted, her face paled. Nick. Over the last 4 years she had seen him only occasionally, but she hadn't spoken to him in a long time, and had thought she'd heard he'd moved hospitals. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm filling in for a few weeks while the usual surgeon is on leave. You must be Ruby?"

Ruby nodded shyly, melting further back into Max's hoodie that he'd placed over her shoulders when she'd arrived.

"Right. Will the parents be available soon, Zoe, because I have surgery scheduled shortly."

"Zoe's my mummy." Ruby said quietly, staring down at her cast, sure this was where Zoe would deny it.

"Oh. I didn't realise. I didn't notice you were uh-"

"She's-" Zoe almost said adopted, but instead just offered her colleague. "Ruby's my daughter, she's just turned 5 and she fell off the monkey bars 2 weeks ago and has had increasing discomfort since then. Has Dr Keogh sent you the scans?"

"Ah, yes. Do you want to discuss this in here, or would you prefer to do it in the relatives room?"

"Here is fine. Ruby wants to know what's going to happen."

As Zoe listened to Nick talk, she had to stop herself putting her hand on her tummy protectively, aware that Ruby would notice it and want to look after her. She trusted Nick implicitly as a doctor, and she even liked him as a person, but every time she thought of their relationship and how it had ended, she felt a blind panic beginning to descend.

When he finally left and Lofty appeared to talk to Ruby on his break, Zoe rushed from the cubicle just as Max was returning. He looked after her with a frown and then followed her, entering the bathroom in time to hear her be sick.

The vomit had come so suddenly that Zoe was sure she had a mixture of snot and tears and sick on her face and hair, but when she saw Max she still buried her face in his shirt.

Max could not understand what Zoe was telling him through her tears, but somehow he managed to calm her, and soon she was washing her face, hiccupping every so often as Max rubbed her back.

"Sorry." She gave him an apologetic smile in the mirror.

"It's been a difficult day."

"…Nick is the one who is going to operate on Ruby."

"Good. He's the best."

Zoe glanced up at Max again before turning to face him. "I'm going to talk to him about Thomas. Ask him what he felt, how he remembers it. I can't keep holding onto it Max, not if Ruby can pick up on it so easily."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"More than anything, but I don't think you should. I think I should do it by myself."

"And maybe a bin in case you projectile vomit again."

Zoe gave a soft laugh and stepped forward to blot at Max's top with a wet cloth. "I need to stop being scared. How can I tell Ruby it's ok to talk about things and tell her that she doesn't need to worry if I'm always worried about telling people things?"

Max reached out and tucked some hair behind Zoe's ear before resting a loving hand to her cheek. "When?"

"...No time like the present?"


	33. Pain and Regret

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Zoe asked hesitantly as she stood in the doorway of Nick's temporary office.

He gave a nod, motioning to the seat opposite his. "She'll be fine, Zoe. I've done this hundreds of times before."

"I know." Zoe offered quietly, unsure now how to broach the subject as she stayed by the door.

Nick studied her for a moment and then leant back in his seat, taking a sip of coffee. "So, you have a daughter?"

Zoe nodded, resting her back against the doorframe for some stability. "We adopted her almost a year ago. They turned us down what felt like hundreds of times, but as soon as I saw her I knew it was meant to be."

"She's cute. And opinionated, just like you."

Zoe gave a slight smile and now moved to sit opposite him. "I wanted to talk to you about Thomas."

Nicks eyes dropped to look at his desk. "Oh."

"I…It…" Zoe's hand rested in her middle for a moment before she managed to continue. "What happened…it…we never spoke about it, Nick, and it's affecting everything in my life. I'm constantly terrified of Max just walking out one day without a backwards glance, and…I'm always scared this baby I'm carrying will go as well."

Nick glanced up now. He hadn't noticed she was pregnant, or if he had his mind had chosen not to see it.

"We never talked, Nick, and I don't understand what happened, and I think maybe if we do talk about him, it will make it easier."

Nick sat in silence for what felt like hours to Zoe, and she wished dearly that she'd brought Max or at least something of his with her. When the realisation that he was so dependable hit Zoe, a strange calmness suddenly flowed over her. She'd never felt that way about Nick. She was considering this when the man in front of her cleared his throat.

"What exactly do you want to talk about, Zoe?"

"Do you still think about him?"

After another pause, Nick reached into the top desk, glanced into it and finally pulled out a framed photo. It showed Zoe holding Thomas, something that Nick had refused to do. "…I've never seen that photo before." Zoe said softly.

"I know. I kept it when I got the photos developed. Zoe, I never meant for you to feel bad or to think you let me down, I was just scared and sad and grieving, and I suppose it was easier for me to blame you than it was to think that this sort of thing happens sometimes and it's no ones fault. I shouldn't have left, I know that now. In fact I knew it almost immediately after I left, but every second away seemed to make it harder to come back. When I finally had the courage, when I finally realised I wanted to be happy and you were the only one who could make me feel that way, I came back and you were with that porter."

Zoe opened her mouth to speak , but now he'd begun talking, Nick found it difficult to stop. "I think about him every day, Zoe. And about you. I constantly look at children and wonder if he'd be like them, if he'd be good at school, if he'd be quiet or talking non-stop. If I'd stayed, we could have gone through it together. We could have talked, it could have brought us closer together. You will never understand how much I regret leaving, Zoe. I'm sorry."

When she saw the tears in Nick's eyes, Zoe finally stood and walked to him, pulling him into her arms as she used to after a tough case. As he wrapped his arms around her and shut his eyes, Zoe marvelled as she used to about how well they fit together.

"It's ok. I forgive you." Zoe finally offered softly after many minutes passed.

Nick pulled away slightly and put a hand to Zoe's cheek. He studied her eyes, and when he saw the love that still shone in them, he lowered his head to kiss her.

* * *

"Where's mummy?"

As Ruby questioned him, Max suddenly realised he'd stop reading half way down a page because he was thinking about what Zoe was doing. "She'll be back soon, Princess." Max dropped a kiss to Ruby's head and started reading again.

Ruby had been transferred up to the children's ward and was now in a single room, lying on the bed next to Max as he read to her.

"Will you go and get her and make her come back now?" Ruby asked quietly.

"Why? Don't you like my reading skills?"

Ruby smiled at this, but her bottom lip wobbled. "I'm scared."

"There's nothing to be scared of. I promise."

"Please can you get mummy?"

Max sighed and finally stood up, resting the book back on the bed. "Ok, but don't get out of that bed, and absolutely NO handstands or cartwheels until I get back."

Ruby smiled at this and threw the teddy she'd been gripping at Max. "You're silly."

* * *

Once in the corridor, Max took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment. Once his heart beat steadied, he asked a nurse where Nick Jordan's office was before walking towards it. He loathed to interrupt what he knew was an important conversation for Zoe to have, but at the same time he didn't want Ruby to be any more worried than she normally was.

As he approached the office, he saw that the door was slightly ajar, and hoping that meant they were finished, he walked towards it with relief. "Sorry to interrupt, but-"

Max stopped in the doorway, his heart pounding in his chest once more.

"Max-" Zoe stepped towards him, but he stepped back.

"Ruby is asking for you."

"Max, I-" Zoe tried again, but he stepped back into the corridor and turned his back to her.

"I'm going to get some dinner. I'll be back soon."

Zoe watched him walk away, glanced towards Nick and then walked back quickly towards Ruby's room.


	34. Dreams

Max was gone for almost 2 hours, in which time Robyn and Dylan had visited, with a smuggled Dervla, and Ruby had had her dinner and reluctantly fallen asleep.

Zoe had started off sitting by the bed, then by the window, and now she noiselessly paced the room, trying Max's phone every few minutes, but it kept going straight to messages.

 _It had finally happened. He'd gone, and it was her fault. She'd always known it would happen, but-_

Zoe's eyes stopped focussing on the rain pouring down outside when warm hands suddenly moved around her to rest on her middle. "Max-"

"Come and sit down, I brought you some dinner."

Zoe turned and studied Max as he set out some food on the table. "…Why didn't you answer your phone?"

Max pointed to where it still rested beside Ruby's bed. "She was playing some Sponge Bob game for hours in the ED."

"Max, it didn't mean anything. I was just-"

"I know, Zoe. It's okay." Max repeated. When Zoe gave another sigh, Max finally looked towards her. "I mean it, Zoe. You were thinking about the past, and it just happened. I'm not angry."

"You were gone for 2 hours."

"I'm still a human, Zo. It still hurt to see my wife kissing someone else, even if I know why she was doing it." Max offered as he sat out the food.

Zoe studied Max again before she sat down in the chair he pulled towards the table for her. Silently, she began to eat what he placed in front of her, but barely tasted it until Max reached out to tuck some hair behind her ear and gave her a smile.

Zoe gave a tentative smile back, and as soon as she did, she felt a flutter inside and her hand flew to her bump. "I felt it! Max, I felt the baby!" With Thomas, Zoe had barely felt anything, even towards the end of her pregnancy.

As Max grinned, a throat was cleared in the doorway and they turned to find a nervous looking Nick. "I'm off home now, but we've scheduled Ruby's surgery for first thing in the morning, and she'll probably need to be in for a couple of days afterwards. I've booked the on call room for you, in case one of you wants to sleep." He put down the on call room keys, gave another hesitant smile and then walked from the room.

"Nick." Max suddenly called, making Zoe's heart stop. When the doctor reappeared, Max pushed himself to his feet and held out a hand. "Thank you."

Nick glanced at Zoe and then shook her husband's hand.

* * *

Max made Zoe spend the night in the on call room and said he'd call if Ruby asked for her, so after dinner she made her way reluctantly towards the room. Though she was exhausted, she still felt guilty about leaving Ruby and fell into a restless sleep.

 _Zoe suddenly found herself in a playground. At first she thought it was empty, but when she heard a laugh, she turned to find Ruby racing towards the play area with an older boy. He turned towards Zoe and gave a wide grin. "Mum, can we have an ice-cream?!" Zoe felt tears beginning to well in her eyes. It was Thomas._

 _"He's getting big." She heard another voice from behind her and turned to find Nick standing a few steps back, and a couple of steps to his side stood Max, both watching her intently._

 _"Mummy, come with us!" Ruby was at her side, pulling her hand towards Max, but at on her other side stood Thomas, pulling her towards Nick. "We are going for ice-cream!"_

 _Zoe knew she had to choose. She knew she could no longer stand in the middle between two families. When she looked at Nick earnestly, he smiled at her and held out a hand._

 _When she looked towards Max, he smiled as well, but didn't reach out a hand to her. Zoe knew he was trying to tell her it was okay, whatever she chose._

 _Her eyes flickered shut as the children continued to try and pull her in different directions. Then suddenly they were gone. It was the 3 of them now, Nick and Max waiting, and Zoe unsure what to do._

 _"I love you." Said Nick._

 _"Do you?" Zoe replied._

 _When he nodded, they both looked expectantly towards Max, but aside from his smile he still refused to get involved. "…Max?" Zoe finally asked hesitantly._

 _"It's okay, Zoe. It's okay. It's all going to be okay, I promise." Max said what he always said to her._

 _Zoe looked between them again, shaking with fear. Finally, she shut her eyes and spun around in a circle as she'd done as a child before walking forward. When her lips fell on another's, peace filled Zoe's world, for she knew she'd made the right choice._

* * *

"You were supposed to wake me up." Zoe noted as she entered Ruby's room the next morning.

Max glanced up and gave a tired smile. "You need the sleep more than I do."

"Why's that?" Zoe asked as she surprised Max by sitting gently on his lap.

He smiled at this. "Because you're pregnant."

"Am I?" Zoe asked, rubbing her nose against Max's.

"Mm-hmm. With my baby. I assume you had a good sleep?"

"A terrible one, and I had the worst dream, but it made me realise something I don't think I've been letting myself believe for a long time."

"What's that?" Max asked, tilting his face up a little to try and capture her lips.

"That I love you more than anything, and you love me just as much." Zoe smiled but moved her lips a little further away.

"I've been telling you that for 6 years, and it takes a dream to make you believe it?" Max asked as Zoe rubbed her nose against his again.

"What can I say? You're obviously not very convincing." Zoe smiled, allowing her lips to finally brush against Max's.

"I better try harder, then." Max smiled back.

As Zoe finally allowed Max to kiss her deeply as he had in the dream, Ruby spoke groggily, "Can I watch cartoons?"

"Mm, I'm not sure. Cartoons before breakfast on a weekday?" Zoe asked as she stood.

Max watched her with a smile. Something about his wife had changed. The nervous energy and the alertness he'd always associated with her were gone, and in its place seemed to be relaxed shoulders and- His smile widened into a grin when he saw what she wore on her feet. "Nice slippers."

Zoe glanced down and then poked her tongue out at Max before she handed Ruby the remote and joined her in the bed.


	35. Epilogue

**2 YEARS LATER**

* * *

"Max, hurry up! We're going to be late! Mummy said to be there in half an hour!" Ruby called as she hopped from foot to foot in front of the front door.

"Max?!" Her father asked as he entered the room. "You haven't called me that in years! Why am I suddenly Max but Zoe is still Mummy?"

"Because you embarrassed me in front of my friends."

"What did I do?" Max asked as he grabbed the car keys.

Ruby folded her arms. "You know what you did! I told you not to kiss me goodbye anymore in front of my friends, but when I came out of school you picked me up, spun me around and then dropped kisses all over my face!"

"You loved it really." Max pulled open the front door and then shut it behind him, following Ruby towards the lift with a grin.

She had. In fact it might have been her favourite thing ever. "No I didn't!"

"Did so."

Ruby turned to frown at Max, and for a moment she looked just like Zoe. "I'm not going to call you Daddy until you say sorry."

As Max got down on his knees and pretended to beg, Ruby began giggling and then finally rushed forward to wrap her arms around his neck. "You're silly, Daddy. I love you."

"I bet I love you more." Max grinned, picking Ruby up into his arms to carry her to the lift.

"Nope, I love you more."

"Not possible."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too!"

"How about we agree that we love each other equally?" Max asked as they entered the busy lift.

Ruby glanced around the busy lift and Max's arms tightened around her instinctively, but Ruby was no longer as shy as she used to be and turned to look at him with a smile. "Okay, but don't do it again."

"Don't do what? This?" Max asked before attempting to drop a kiss on a giggling and squirming daughter's cheek.

"DADDY!"

* * *

40 minutes later they were sat back in the same photography studio that they'd been in 2 years before. Rather than just the 3 of them, this time there was 8, and Ruby looked around at them happily. All her favourite people. Her family. At school, a boy had recently teased her for being adopted, and Ruby had drawn herself up to her full height, crossed her arms as she'd seen her mother do a replied "I'm glad I am. My parent's picked me. YOURS just got stuck with you!" The boy's friends had laughed at him. Smiling at the memory, Ruby looked around.

Lofty stood in the corner trying to fix the mess that Dylan had made of his tie.

Max was rushing around trying to stop his son Ben from chewing on everything he came across.

Robyn was assessing herself in the mirror, unsure if she'd made the right dress choice.

Zoe was stood back trying to organise everyone, but no one was paying her a bit of attention.

And Dervla lay with her head on Ruby's lap, letting the girl she loved tie pompoms into her fur.

"Right, if everyone is ready, I'd like to take the photo!" The photographer finally yelled.

Everyone walked reluctantly towards the front of the camera, Max pulling a squirming Ben into his arms.

"I don't think I picked the right dress." Robyn moaned.

"My tie just doesn't look right." Dylan noted.

"I probably should have had a haircut." Lofty added.

"Why do I always have to be pregnant when we get these done?" Zoe asked.

As everyone turned to look at her, Ben burst into tears and the photographer took the photo.

* * *

Ruby still giggled every time she looked at the photo that hung on the wall. Zoe stood in the middle, and everyone's heads were turned towards her, but she was looking right at the camera with a grin. In front, Ben's face was red with anger and tears.

"You did that because you realised you wouldn't be the baby anymore." Ruby was fond of telling him, but her eyes were always drawn to her mother in the photo. That smile rarely left her face these days, and Ruby found it infectious.

She loved her mother, but secretly her father was her favourite. He might be silly sometimes, but he kept the large household and everyone in it running smoothly, he silenced every argument and he still had time for endless cuddles. She knew that whatever storm might come her families' way, he would keep them safe.

THE END!

 **A/N- I really enjoyed writing this, and hope you all enjoyed reading it. Thank you to all who reviewed! I have a new story coming, but I know a lot of people really liked Ruby, so I'm considering writing another story with her involved, separate from this story. Let me know your views, and if anyone would like to write with me or send me ideas, please do! I'm also on twitter - georgygirl17.**


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